[yms] world war z was kind of a crappy movie. and i'm sure that not everybody agrees withthat statement, but there was a point in time when anybody who knew about the movie prettymuch expected it to be a piece of shit. it seems as though the overwhelmingproduction issues that this film suffered went unnoticedby the average viewer. but to me they were pretty fucking apparent. i mean, sure, it's not the worstmovie of all time, but the fact that it's so bland and unspecial justmakes it that much more boring. it would be easier to sitthrough if the whole
movie was as bad as theworst parts of this movie, because if you're notscared by the zombies, this movie doesn't reallyhave that much to offer. fear can be particularlysubjective in movies and some people get scared a lotmore easily than others. when your argument for what the movie didwell stops at, "it was scary", then you might want to change your wording from, "no, it wasactually good", to, "i really liked it." the biggest problem with this movie is that avast majority of it is so incredibly uninspired. i envy people that can get suckedinto a movie they've already
seen a million times in differentforms, but that's just not me. i'm aware that there's quite a few people whocan watch this overdone and clichã© news footage intro and get sucked into the movie, but tome it's like i'm not even watching anything. it's been done so manytimes that i might as well just be sitting at homeand imagining it instead. i don't understand how i'm supposed to be absorbinginformation if none of it is new information. you just showed me three minutes of nothing. what's interesting to note about this movie,is that the script had a fuckton of rewrites. not only was it based off of a novel where bradpitt's character doesn't even exist, but between
2008 and the movie's well delayed release,it went through about five different people. and about a month before the film'srelease the writer of the original book came out and said that the only thingthey wound up keeping was the title. after he actually watched to movie he found out thatthey did keep one character, but that's about it. [yms] so the reason why this filmwent through so many rewrites is because the original endingapparently kind of sucked. [interviewer] world war z is currentlygoing through reshoots at the moment. [brad pitt] yeah, out here again. what's the nature of those?
well, it's just a big monsterof a film and umm, that one has *got* to work and there's certain,umm, how do i describe it... it's just gotta work a certain way, and wegotta, we gotta fix'em up and that's all. we get it right and it's gonna be great.it's not... it's not unusual. [clip] in moscow, brad at the premiere of world warz - said to open tomorrow - tells "usa today" that when he saw the first cut of the film he had hisdoubts, saying he thought it was, quote: "atrocious". [yms] paramount was seriously consideringscrapping the project altogether, before last-minute investor davidellison threw more money at it. and then brad pitt was reportedly so pissedthat he stopped talking to the director.
"vulture" claims that severalproduction sources said that they were only communicatingthrough intermediaries. so, if the director had notes for a scene,instead of talking to brad pitt directly, he talked to someone else and then thatperson would tell him what he said. brad pitt and marc forster deny that thishappened, so believe whatever side you want. [marc forster] it was just*fantastic* to work with him. he's one of the mostgifted, iconic actors. [yms] but it would be hard to believethat brad pitt wasn't at least a little pissed at marc forsterfor how he handled this movie.
[clip] brad's huge zombie bet wasmet with troubled production, budget overages and incompleteand endless reshoots. [yms] that, and there's anobvious financial benefit in pretending there weren'tany production issues. i mean, by the time the movie wasreleased, brad pitt put in a lot of effort into making sure everybodyknew it had his seal of approval. [brad pitt] i've seen it 30-40 timesthrough the editing process and i *love* it man, i'm re-really thrilledby it, people are having so much fun! it's the most intense thing you'regonna see all summer, it's so fun.
[yms] when i first watched this movie ididn't know about all the production drama. but as i was watchingbrad pitt in this scene, i thought to myself that helooks weirdly unhappy. does nobody else think that he looks kind ofunintentionally pissed off in this scene? is it a coincidence that this scene was part of the reshoots? maybe it's all in my headbut i don't think i'm the only one that thinks helooks off in this scene. just saiyan. if there's one thing that really sticks outabout scripts that get rewritten over and
over by different people, is that a lot oftime it really loses its sense of flow. like, holy crap is this movie ever impatient. they literally spend two minutespretending to develop these characters before they're throwninto the zombie outbreak scene. and that's perfectly ok if you wantto get straight into the action. but if you're going to have a characterdevelopment scene anyway, could you not try even a little bit to make it seem as though you'renot just checking off items on a list? show that he has a wife and children,and that he is happy with them so that the audience can relate to himwithout him having any real character.
show foreboding zombie footage on the television. mention this child's inhaler thatwill be needed later in the movie. [clip] did you pack your inhaler? [yms] force in a line that references his old job. [clip] martial law is like houserules, but for everybody. were you ever in places like that with your old job? [yms] show the counting toy that will be used later. [cilp] -look who i found!-[here comes the number 12 train.] [yms] "ok we're good, next scene!"
from the moment they show upin the kitchen to the start of the zombie outbreak sceneis 77-fucking seconds. "no you don't get it, we don't haveto develop anything 'cause we've already shown that they're thetypical american family unit." "that's just the hollywood secret!" they spent 20 million dollars for these rewrites, guys. oh, hey! it's that really coolfont that i've never seen before that shows up one letter at atime making this exact noise! [obscure computer sounds]
so, now we're in bumper-to-bumper trafficand weird things start happening. why is the helicopter flying around? why is the police officer so rude? why is there an explosion? everything is getting fucked upand nobody knows what's going on. [clip] get back in your car right now!remain with your ve... [bang] [yms] excuse me? so, this is thefirst piece of action that happens in this movie and already it's alittle difficult to take seriously. apparently, the first sixcollisions this dumb truck
made before hitting this guywere completely silent. [bang] unless it fit in between these vehicles? "i am scared!""i am also scared!" they decide they're going tofollow down the path it's created, but both of their linesare very clearly overdubbed. [clip] -what are we doing?-that's our way out of here. [yms] i also like how the line,"that's our way out of here", comes directly before several"capital one" product placements.
they're driving around in the chaos andthis little girl just won't shut up. [clip] i want my blanket! baby, it's packed right now.snuggle with subway sam, okay? my blanket! -rach? -rachel, baby, you'vegot to get back in your seat. -baby, we need you in your seat.-put you belt on! -rachel, right now!-gerry? -rach, get your belt back on! [yms] "yeah, get your seatbelt on or elsei'll stop paying attention to the road." so, brad pitt collects his children andnotices something about a motorhome.
but for the life of me i cannottell what the fuck even happened. it's obvious this part only existsso they can have a convenient escape from the danger, but i'm so fuckingconfused as to what happened here. so, the rv just stops right here and thedriver gets out and leaves his keys. and then he just fucking disappears. for somereason this guy was pointing his gun at him. and then they just droveaway for no fucking reason. were you trying to steal his rvand then you changed your mind? the best interpretationi can come up with is that this guy died as hewas exiting his vehicle
and somebody in the editing room forgot toadd a muzzle flash and gunshot sound effect. i mean, this extra acted as though there was a gunshot. but in the scene we don't seeor hear a gunshot at all, making it really fucking confusingas to what just happened. i guess just either way it's just one bigconvenient coincidence for our main character. so, this little girl drops herstuffed animal, and brad pitt decides to pick it up and thenobserve a zombie transformation. and it's from this that he learns how longit takes for a person to turn into a zombie. [nine, ten]
like, how loud is that toy that you can hearit through a crowd of screaming people? seems like the type of thingthat would be pulled off the market for permanently damaginglittle babies' eardrums. "good thing we were the only people out ofdozens of witnesses that decided to take this rv. quickly! everybody run this way,this looks like our way out of here." [clip] i use my capital oneventure card with double miles you can actually use tofly any airline, any time. [yms] so, as if the scorefor the film wasn't already recycled enough, they decide toend the scene with this noise.
[dramatic brraaa] [yms] i guess that's just onemore to add to the pile. [brraawwwmmm] [brraaammm] [bbbrrrrmmmm] [brrwm] [brraaw] [baaam] [bbrraaawawa]
[brraaa] [yms] "oh no, the child's asthma that webriefly mentioned less than ten minutes ago is causing her some troubles, iguess we gotta go to the pharmacy now." man, if there weren't any childrenin this story then these instant conflict plot devices might haverequired some writing effort. [clip] my blanket! [yms] so he gets the medswhile his wife gets some food, i like how this guy hasn't cluedin that he should go home yet. it's a good thing she's a child or elseeverybody would notice the horrible acting.
"aaaahhh" is it really too much to ask that childrenget cast for their acting abilities? do they even audition anymore ordo they just show their face? "adam, that's unfair criticism, and yourstandards for realism in film are unreasonable." "children aren't supposedto be in the movie to act, they're supposed to be inthe movie as a cheap way to influence plot devices, andalso to serve as props as a cheap way to make themain character relatable." [clip] here at hollywood studios we'vebeen conscious of what successful
films have not only been made,but have stood the test of time. after many decades of research,we have realized that part of the process of making a successfulfilm is having a good story. after many more years of research, we'vediscovered that audiences respond better to action sequences if the characters in perilare ones we care about and want to survive. we then organized a series ofexperiments with focus groups, and over the next few years we were presentedwith some startling results. each participant in the study was shown alarge rock to act as the main character. by the end of the test wetook a large sledgehammer and
smashed the rock into manypieces in front of them. the idea was to see if the reactionswere any different depending on what was done to the rock before we introducedthe expectation of death or loss. what we found is that people aremore responsive to the loss of the rocks if we had giventhem stories, backgrounds, personality traits, you know -anything we could attach onto them to make them seem morehuman and less like a rock. now, unfortunately, we raninto a bit of a problem. see, the time it took to developand explain these traits to
the test subjects proved tobe tiresome for both the creators of these traits, andthe participants involved. some even started asking questions aboutthe rock, but we didn't want that. fast forward two years laterand here at hollywood studios, we came up withthe perfect solution. we found that we were able to getnear identical results with our participants after presenting therock under special conditions. after that point, the backstory wasn'teven necessary in the slightest. turns out all we had to dowas place a dainty, slimmer
rock next to it with one ortwo pebbles by its side. the result was outstanding. and let me tell you, i sat in for oneof these sessions and they brought the sledgehammer out after about, like,30 seconds and they went hysterical. this one woman, she started crying, "pleasedon't kill him, he's got a family!" and then we smashed it. [yms] he saves his wife fromgetting mugged/raped and they make it back to their... oh, no theydon't have a vehicle anymore. they run to some apartment buildingsand just barely make it inside.
"we're scared!" alright, so let me get this straight.when a child's stupidity conveniently initiates a plot device we're supposed toaccept it because children are stupid. but you know what the number one thingis that children are constantly doing that almost never fucking showsup in these types of lazy movies? they cry. all the goddamn time. and, for whatever reason,people are able to watch movies wherein children aregoing through any number of traumatizing events and no oneever gets taken out of the
movie by how held back a child'shorrible performance is? "no, you don't get it,everybody deals with stress differently, it's just acoincidence that every child character in hollywood moviesnever seems to deal with stress in a way that wouldrequire acting talent." "if i've never seen a movie with decentchild performances in it, that means it's not possible and i should justaccept it as a standard for today." oh hey, one of your idiot children disappearedfrom you; i guess you gotta go find her. [clip] -where's connie?-connie?
[yms] it's a good thing she was randomlyscreaming in front of this door and not the other ones, because thesepeople are going to let them in. yaay! also, good job on using the same take twice. [clip] -let me in!-let me in! [yms] i bet you're exhausted, here have a beer. he waits until later, whenhe knows a helicopter will be waiting for himbecause of his old job. he invites this family to comewith him, but they say, "no", and then they immediatelyregret it after they leave.
"fuck!" "let me open this door andlook around everywhere except directly in front of myself.oh, no!" this kid miraculously escaped,i guess he can come too now. so, as you can tell, i'm not all that impressedwith the action scenes i'm presented with. if i found myself beingmore easily scared by these zombies then it mightbe a different story. perhaps it's the annoyingchildren and their held back screams that takeme out of each scene.
[clip] -i'm scared.[yms] -you say that. well, either way, it's timeto break from the action and deliver an incrediblyboring story scene. these guys insist that brad pitt has tohelp them look for a cure because of his history at the un, and he has to do it orelse they kick his family off the boat. [clip] you want to help your family.let's figure out how we stop this. [yms] "this mission dependson you, gerry, and we can't do it without you.you being the man who looks everywhere butin front of yourself
when entering a room withnew potential threats." well, i guess he doesn't have to be aroundthese annoying children anymore. they just witnessed hundreds of people beingmurdered and they look incredibly bored. "my parents are dead buti don't give a shit." so, now he's off to south korea with thisguy who's supposed to be a valuable asset. supposedly that's where thefirst infection was. as soon as they land they have tostart fighting more zombies. and it's set up in such a way whereit's like, "oh no, you can only see the zombies as soon as they'resuper close because of the fog."
this guy freaks out and starts runningback inside, fucking hilarious. he died fucking instantly. "oh hey, look how far away i cansee the zombies all of a sudden." [clip] the guy just shot himself. [yms] he shot himself? oh my godhe actually did shoot himself. [clip] -he was supposed to be our best hope.-well, he's not our best hope anymore. [crickets chirping] [yms] so, now he's here and it turns out hedoesn't really get the information he wanted. [clip] now, our colonel said he was the first one.
-this colonel, is he around?-oh, yeah. he's right here. [canned laughter, applause] [yms] fun fact about human biology: yourfingers contain bone and tendon, not muscle. clearly, burning them does not do that muchif their ashy remains can exert energy. they casually explain howthe zombies went after every single person in theroom except this guy. [clip] this prick stands rightin the mix, while seven or eight of them turn zekeall at the same time. but they got no time forol' dirty bastard here.
[yms] and at no point does anyone think,"hmm, maybe we shouldn't treat this as an odd coincidence and we should figureout why they attacked everybody but him." you flew all the way to southkorea for the explicit purpose of gathering informationto try and find a cure. is it not even worth looking into,or even asking him about it? you don't want to, maybe, pullout your phone and write a note? "nah, that doesn't seem important soi'll just ask him something else." [clip] the ones i saw bittenturned in 12 seconds. same here? -five or 10 minutes. -yeah, davidsonwent and he turned in 10 minutes.
[yms] oh great! it's this scene. [screaming] [yms] he figures that the best wayto stop the infection is that everybody pulls out their teeth sothat they can't bite other people. alright, now i am completely baffled athow someone can watch this scene and think, "yeah, pulling out your teethwith your fingers, that makes sense." do people seriously haveto try it themselves to realize how impossible itwould be to get a grip? check this shit out!
nope! i'm really trying to geta grip, i'm seriously trying. nope! nope! here, i actuallygot one of these grips that you use for opening jars,just to prove my point. nothing. there's not a single fuckingtooth i can actually get a grip on. i'm trying seriously hard, itdoesn't fucking make any sense. are we supposed to assume that hesmashed his face against the bars a few times before trying butsomehow didn't chip a single tooth? are we supposed to assume that he wasjust the one guy at camp humphreys who already had the dental hygieneof a homeless man with no teeth?
like, come on, at least use yourshirt to grip it or something. i don't understand how i'msupposed to take this seriously. also if you watched this in theatresinstead of the unrated home video release, they just start the scene with hisremaining tooth digitally edited out. and then a tooth magically appears in hishand in the middle of their conversation. man, have you noticed how allthe best movies are made with financial gain taking precedenceover artistic integrity? i mean, what's the point of evenhaving a vision for the film if you're not supposed to dismantleit to sell it to a younger crowd.
[clip] and for those whothink the movie might not be right for kids: brad isletting parents decide. his kids saw the movie, andhis kids love zombies. you know, he's leaving the pg-13rating up to parents. subtitles by: fresh d and ron zuckowski
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