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and with that movie2001, you're projecting us into the 21st century. i brought alongmy son, jonathan, who, in the year 2001, willbe the same age as i am now. maybe he will be betteradjusted to this kind of world that you're trying to portray. the bigdifference, when he grows up... in fact, if we wanted towait until the year 2001, is that he will have,in his own house,

not a computer as big as this, but at least a console through which he can talk tohis friendly local computer and get all the information heneeds for his everyday life, like his bank statements,his theater reservations, all the information you need in the course of livingin a complex modern society. this will be in a compactform in his own house. he'll have a television screen,

like these here, and a keyboard, and he'll talk to the computer,and get information from it. and he'll take it as much forgranted as we take the telephone. i wonder, though,what sort of a life would it be like,in social terms? if our whole life is builtaround the computer, do we becomea computer-dependent society? in some ways, but they willalso enrich our society because it willmake it possible for us

to live, really,anywhere we like. any businessman and executive couldlive almost anywhere on earth and still do his businessthrough a device like this. and this is a wonderful thing, it meanswe won't have to be stuck in cities. we'll be able to live out in thecountry, or wherever we please. screen saysit's an unimplemented trap, but the error code is wrong,it's a system error. - so what's the upshot?- it's not gonna say, "hello." it absolutely isgonna say "hello."

it's nobody's fault, it's a system error. you built the voice demo. - the voice demo is flaky...- keep your voices down. i've been telling you that for...this thing is overbuilt. it worked last night. it worked the night before that.it worked three hours ago. it's not working now, so justskip over the voice demo. - fuck you.- everything else is working. skip over the voice demo.

we need it to say, "hello." you're not hearing me, it'snot going to say, "hello." just fix it. - fix it?- yeah. - in 40 minutes?- fix it. - i can't.- who's the person who can? i'm the person who can,and i can't. - how bad are you saying?- it's pretty bad. i don't know what that means.

it means the demo is morethan likely gonna crash. you have to keepyour voices down, joel pforzheimer issitting out in the house. i don't care if... who's joel pforzheimer? gq. he's been shadowing youfor a week, did you notice? just look likeeverything's fine, he's sitting out in the house. hey.

what are you guys saying? some kind of race condition, but wehaven't been able to track it down yet. is the synthesizersampling fast enough? no, so the rates areoff, and it keeps crashing. it's 20 seconds out of atwo-hour launch, why not just cut it? - we can't cut it.- yeah, you just cut it. two days ago,we ran a super bowl ad that could've won the oscarfor best short film. there are more peoplewho can tell you about the ad

than can tell youwho won the game. i understand, but the ad said themac was gonna save the world. it didn't say it wasgonna say, "hello." we open the house in five. don't open the house. we're taking a quick break. part of the problem is, wecan recompile... what? ...but if it's a hardware problem, we can't get into the back. why not?

do you wanna tell her,or should i? don't start with me, man. why can't he getinto the machine? you need special tools. what kind of special tools?just take a screwdriver. he didn't want usersto be able to open it. is this for real? there are 100 engineers walking aroundhere. none of them have the tools? in fairness, not manyof them were issued the tools.

what about you? i left them at the office,it was 3:00 a.m. when i... oh, jesus christ.cut "hello." no! what's the firstrule of a launch? it's not gonna crash. it just did. andy! which one? the other andy. you're rightthere, why would i be calling out?

he needs to talk to you. yeah. the exit signs need to be off, or we're not gonnaget a full blackout. we've spokento the building manager - and the fire marshal.- and? there's absolutely no way they'regonna let us turn the exit signs off. i'll pay whatever the fine is. the fine is, they're gonna comein and tell everyone to leave.

you explained tothe fire marshal that we're in herechanging the world? i did, but unless we canalso change the properties of fire,he doesn't care. steve... if a fire causes a stampedeto the unmarked exits, it'll have been well worth itfor those who survive. for those who don't, less so,but still pretty good. look, i... i need it to go black.real black.

get rid of the exit signs anddon't let me know how you did it. fix the voice demo. you need specialtools to open the mac? you knew it was a closed system. - i didn't know literally.- jesus. and if you keep alienatingpeople for no reason, there's gonna be no one leftfor it to say "hello" to. it's not for no reason. we blow this, and ibm will own thenext 50 years like a batman villain.

remember the phone company? that's what bell was called,"the phone company." ibm will bethe computer company. ten years later, they'll bethe information company, and that's very badfor the human race. so we don't have timeto be polite or realistic, because if we are, thiscompany's next product launch will be heldin front of 26 people and a stringer from the alamedacounty shoppers' guide.

we haven't advertisedthe voice software. we could pull itout of the demo, and no one wouldbe disappointed. do you want to try beingreasonable, just, you know, see what it feels like? okay. pull the voice demo. thank you. and then cancel the launch. i see.

you just tricked me a little. you can tell mehow unimportant it is, but if the computerdoesn't say, "hello," then neither will john sculley, who, i promise you,agrees with me. sculley's not gonna cancel thelaunch because he's not insane. he's also not a hack, and when it comesto the macintosh, he's gonna dowhat i ask him to do.

what's in this box? nothing you need to worryabout, don't even open it. what the fuck? why is there a carton of...who did this? - somebody thought...- who? doesn't matter. thought it would be a good idea to have copiesof that time cover available at everyone's seat.

it was nipped in the bud,and all the copies are being takenout of the building, so, problem solved. this isn't a macintosh. i understand. somebody thought itwould be a good idea to, like, enthusiasticallyhand over copies of time with a not-a-macintoshon the cover at the launch of the macintosh?

what are they handing outat hewlett-packard? a bushel of appleswith my face on them? - i'm sure the thinking was...- yeah? ...that since the computeris man of the year that that's goodfor our business, but like i said, i'm havingthem removed from the building. what i'd like youto do with them is to take them,all 2,600 copies, and stack them on kottke's desk,

and tell him steve says,"happy new year to you ." okay. i gave time magazine fullaccess, the whole campus. bandley, apple ii, lisa. igave him sculley, markkula. i gave him woz,i gave him everybody. what should i callthe person who thought it would be a good ideato hand these out? i'm not telling you who it was. it was done without malice,it's been taken care of.

you have a half hour, and wehave things to talk about. like what? like a millionin the first 90 days. joanna... 20,000a month after that. look. those are the forecasts.i'm begging you. because this is my field, i'm begging you to manageexpectations out there. i'm fanning expectations. we're not gonna sell a millionin the first 90 days.

everyone, everyone, everyone. everyone is waiting for the mac. maybe. but what happens when theyfind out that for $2,495, there's nothingyou can do with it? we were competitive at $1,500, but once you replaced themotorola 6809 with the 68000... which is whatsupports menus, windows, point and click,high-res graphics...

yeah, because everyone needsrectangles with rounded corners. coach lands on the runway at theexact same time as first class. i don't have the first fuckingidea what that means, but this is howit got to $2,500, which is the price point on thepc, which can do a lot more! who's gonna want a pc? what idiot is gonna want... if i wanna tell youthere's a spot on your shirt,i point to the spot.

i don't say there's a spot 14centimeters down from the collar and three centimeters to theright of the second button, while i try to remember whatthe command is for club soda. that's not howa person's mind works. if the goal was ease of use, maybeyou should've given it some memory. you can complain about memory,or you can complain about price, but you can't do bothat the same time. memory is what costs money. and i'm glad you're telling meyour feelings about the mac now

because we havea half hour left. we can redesign it. i'm just asking youto manage expectations. look at their faceswhen they see what it is. they won't know what they'relooking at or why they like it, but they'll know they want it. not instantly. when people heardrite of spring, they tore the chairsout of the theater,

they didn't buy the record. rite of spring happens to be the most revolutionary and provocativesymphony of the last century. - ballet.- it was a ballet. but igor stravinsky didn't say he wasgonna sell 20,000 units a month. i don't know why we'retalking about stravinsky, when what i care aboutis dan kottke sodomizing me in time magazine. look. obviously...

let me say this. obviously, daniel didn't thinkhe was doing anything wrong. by talking to time about it? you said, when you told me the story.. . you said, you said to dan, "did time magazine ask you ifi had a daughter named lisa?" and dan said, "yeah." my point was that he answeredyou simply and honestly because he didn't thinkhe'd done anything wrong. except, joanna, except,

i don't havea daughter named lisa. and this story is now about how i'mdenying paternity and took a blood test. and that's whythere's a picture of... i don't know whatthe fuck that is. that's why there's a pictureof a pc on the cover instead of a picture of meand the mac. i don't know what to tell you. i was supposed to be timemagazine's man of the year. and then dan kottke was born.

well... what? she's waiting for you. who? chrisann. brennan? they're out in the hall. they've been sitting in the back of the auditoriumsince 7:00 this morning.

i'm not having a sessionwith chrisann right now. we issued 335 presscredentials for the launch. steve, you piss off chrisann, she's gonna stand in the lobbyand give 335 interviews, and you, pal, will be longing forthe halcyon days of dan kottke. let me get this over with. but don't leave.you're gonna stay here. what? no, i'm not. no. there's less ofa chance of a scene

if you stay here,she'll be cool. i find all this excruciatinglypersonal and... i'm not staying. come on. i don't wanna be in a roomalone with chrisann. this is me and you. fine. steve. this is a surprise.

why don't you come on in? you coming too? yes, i'm not gonnaleave her in the hallway. okay. it's a safe hallway,but anyway. you remember joanna hoffman? she'sthe head of marketing for the mac. good to see you. nice to see you. hello, lisa. we've met before, and you toldme you like the way i talk,

and that was my favorite thinganyone's ever said to me. you're from poland. yes, i am. do youknow where that is? the top of the earth. i think you're thinkingof the north pole. well, we're a littlepressed for time, so... i'll leave you guys alone. why do you wanna leavewhen you just said... i'm gonna check inwith hertzfeld.

we're trying to geta computer to say "hello," but right nowit's being very shy. would you come help me?is that okay? sure. my dad nameda computer after me. i'm not your... actually, do you knowwhat a coincidence is, lisa? no. like if you met someone.

you made a new friendand her name was lisa, too. that would be a coincidence. "lisa" stands for "localintegrated systems architecture." l-i-s-a. it's a coincidence. you about done? - yeah.- okay. come. let's make thatcomputer say "hi."

go ahead, lisa. so it was the other way around. i was named after the computer? nothing was named after anybody.it's a coincidence. what's the matter with you? what's the matter with you? whyare you telling her these things? why are you still tellingher i'm her father? a judge told her you're her father.no, he didn't. and where the helldo you get off

telling time magazine i've sleptwith 28% of the men in america? that's not...where do you get off? that's not remotely what i said. it's right here. first of all, can i tell yousomething about time magazine? i believe it's a trainingfacility for paid assassins. "jobs insists," i am quoting... i didn't invent math. "28% of the male population of theunited states could be the father."

i wasn't saying you've sleptwith 28% of american men. i was using an algorithmbased on the blood test, which said there was a 94.1%chance that i'm the father. you're trying to publicly paintme as a slut and a whore. believe me, i'm not trying topublicly do anything with you. two million people read time.how am i supposed... it would be more if they'dput me on the cover, but dan kottke decidedto kidney-punch me. i applied for welfare yesterday.

- i'm sorry?- hello! i said i appliedfor welfare yesterday. the time article said your applestock was worth $441 million. and i wanted to ask youhow you felt about that. well, i feel like apple stock hasbeen dramatically undervalued. this would bea good time to get in. your daughter and her mother... - chrisann.- ...are on welfare. we're living ina hovel in menlo park.

we can't pay the heating bills. she sleeps in a parka.your daughter... she's not my daughter! because, as reportedby time magazine, i've slept with 28%of the men in america? - no.- all of them, exactly nine monthsbefore lisa was born! i've got andy here. excuse me.

we're there? hey, chris. - hey, andy.- how are you doin'? terrible. you guys caught up now? excuse me for saying hello to myfriend who thinks you're a dick. i don't think you're a...we're there? no. it's got a one-in-sixchance of working. god damn it.

we're not a pit crew at daytona. this can't be fixed in seconds. you didn't have seconds,you had three weeks. the universe was createdin a third of that time. well, someday you'll have totell us how you did it. here's what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna announce the names ofeveryone who designed the launch demo. i'm gonna introduce everyoneand ask them to stand up. the bag was designedby susan kare.

the macintosh font that'sscrolling across the screen was designed by steve capps. the starry night andskywriting was bruce horn. macpaint, macwrite, alice... down to the calculator. and then i'm gonna say, thevoice demo that didn't work was designed by andy hertzfeld. steve...five in six is your chance of surviving the first roundof russian roulette,

and you've reversed those odds. so unless you wanna be disgraced in front ofyour friends, family, colleagues, stockholders,and the press, i wouldn't stand here arguing. i'd go try and get some morebullets out of the gun. do it, andy! stop. you. what size shirt do you wear? me?

does anyone knowwhat size shirt he wears? does anyone knowwhat size shirt i wear? does anyone know wherethe closest psychiatrist is? the disk fits in your pocket. i need a shirt with a breastpocket, i can take it out onstage. - a shirt?- the disk! i need a white shirt in mysize with a breast pocket. yes. which one of the nostores that are open at 8:45 do you want me to have someone runto and return from in 15 minutes?

go out in the lobby, find someone mysize who's wearing a white shirt, tell them i'll trade themfor a free computer, and they get to keep my shirt. does it have to be a white shirt?is blue okay? - no. the mac is beige,- i'm beige, the disk is blue,the shirt has to be white. andy? hello, i'm macintosh. bring me the headof andy hertzfeld.

i tried to get it to say,"hello," but it's shy. so that's it? that's it. i don't get it. i know. what are peoplegoing to do with it? lisa, how old are you now? you know how old she is.how old are you, lisa? five.

come sit here for a minute. do you know what this is? it's a computer. can i borrowyour hand for a second? point that arrow and click. you don't have to, but if youwant, you can play with it. nothing you can dowill break it, so just dowhatever you want with it. what are you doing?

i'm paying you exactly what thecourt ordered me to pay you. $385 a month. i'm not the one whodecided on that amount. and i'm asking you how you feel. if you feel all right. if it feels all right toyou that your daughter... she's not my...that your daughter and her mother are on welfare while you're worth $441million for making that.

i'm proud to say apple donatescomputers to underfunded schools, and we'll be doing more ofthe same with the mac... apple donates millions of dollars'worth of computers to schools. what does thathave to do with... imagine an underprivileged kid that hastheir favorite teacher with them 24 hours. we're minutes awayfrom being able to do that. in your head, was thatan answer to my question? tell me the question again. i wasn't the one who suedyou for child support.

no, let...san mateo county sued you. no, let me explainwhat happened, because i haveplenty of time right now. - excuse me.- you have a visitor. just wanted to say good luck!hey, chrisann. hello, woz. hang on. just wanted to say good luck. thanks. you, too.

- it's a big morning.- yeah. you should seethis crowd out there. this crowd, it's like, um... i can't really wait for you tocome up with a metaphor, man. yeah. so, uh, listen, iwant to ask you a favor. yeah? can you acknowledge the apple iiteam in your remarks? i cannot. just an acknowledgment.have them stand up. we're launching the mac.

it'd be a morale booster,just a mention so they could geta round of applause. - woz...- just a mention. can we stick a pinin this for a minute? - sure, yep.- thank you. just talking about anacknowledgment for the team. i've got chrisann in there.i'll see you in just a second. yep. that.

you asked me whatpeople are gonna do with it. they're gonna do that. one of the engineers. do you like it? i'm sorry? it's an abstract. you used macpaint. push that key and the "s"at the same time. now type your name.

do you knowwhich box says "save"? right. go ahead and click on it. i'll put some moneyin your account. and buy you a new house,someplace near a decent school. woz wants a minute. and sculley's asking for you. we're done? could you teach me more things? on the computer?

lisa, wait for mein the hall, please. you can put your coat onin the hall. bye, lisa. bye. lisa, in the hall. now. i just wanna know, when you say you're gonna putmoney in my account, how much we're talking about. it's a school day.she needs to be in school.

i'm gonna give youwhatever you need. woz wants me to acknowledgethe apple ii team. you must be able to seethat she looks like you. i don't want to insult woz. i just think it's backward-lookingat exactly the wrong moment. i know you heard what i said. i heard what you said, joanna. it's just, we're about todo this thing. at 9:41, the planet's gonna shifton its axis, nigh and forever.

two most significant eventsof the 20th century. the allies win the war,and this. this. so maybe right now isn't thevery best time to scold me for not being a better fatherto a kid who's not my kid. the test said i... i don'tcare what the test said. i don't care about 94.1%, orthe insane algorithm you used to get to 28% of american men. i'm buying her a new house.

i'm giving her money. there's a small girl whobelieves you're her father. that's all . that's allthe math there is. she believes it. what areyou gonna do about that? god sent his only sonon a suicide mission, but we like him anywaybecause he made trees. we're gonna sell a millionunits in the first 90 days, 20,000 a month after that. so maybe you could give mea break, ms. hoffman?

woz. there's nothing in that vendingmachine that won't kill you. just browsing. let's take a walk. can i tell you something? yeah. after themeeting in maui, the apple ii team was upset and angryand down, and do you know why? because the apple iiwasn't mentioned even once? the apple ii wasn't mentioned...

yes, that's it.you have it, yes. that wasn't an oversight. they know that.they know it wasn't. look, i don't wanna makea big deal out of this... that's entirelywithin your power. the apple ii is... the apple ii iswhat was, my friend. the apple ii is what pays the billsaround here and has for seven years. and if youembarrass these people,

you are going to see a brain drainat this company, my brother. markkula took you off the lisa, not them and not me,so don't blame... markkula took me off the lisabecause of his strong religious objection to making it good. now, i gave you everythingyou wanted on the apple ii. you don't ask for a lot? therewasn't a single fight you lost. do you concede the slotsare the reason for the success of the apple ii?

we can't possibly still betalking about the slots. i have a point. it's been seven years. the eightslots on the apple ii... you're still doing it, you'retalking about the slots. there's somethingwrong with you. this argumentstarted in the garage. what are you talking about? whywould you only want two slots? a printer and a modem. with eight slots, you...

this is a huge deal that wewere able to add eight slots. i appreciate the engineering,but it's not what we're doing. - and thank god i won that argument.- woz. ...because the open system is whatpeople love about the machine, and it's why it soldand still sells. an open system. we're notdoing an open system. of course we are. that's what people want, and thebreakthrough on the apple ii... people don't know what they wantuntil you show it to them.

serious users want to customize, they wanna modify,they wanna jack it up. they want hardwareengineers like me to expand its capabilities,okay? keyboards for music,better sound board, better display boards,improved memory cards. and it's why there are3,000 people here right now. the slots are what allowedthe apple ii to run, for just one example, visicalc,which, from my guess,

single-handedly sold between200,000 and 300,000 machines. they want slots. they don't get a vote. when dylan wroteshelter from the storm, he didn't ask peopleto contribute to the lyrics. plays don't stop so theplaywright can ask the audience what scene they'd liketo see next. painters... we're on the verge ofa tectonic... hobbyists are... hobbyists?

a printer and a modem,two slots. the apple ii teamhas my affection, but i'm not loving up a 7-year-oldproduct at the mac launch. computers aren't paintings. fuck you. i'm gonna say "fuck you"every time you say that until you either die or stop. - steve...- try it. - steve.- say it.

computers aren't paintings.fuck you. yes, they are, and what iwant is a closed system. end-to-end control. completely incompatiblewith anything. computers aren't supposedto have human flaws. i'm not going to buildthis one with yours. steve! today is about the macintosh. and the mac is mine.

i give you that. - thank you.- i give you that. just publicly acknowledgethe apple ii team because it'sthe right thing to do. we'll know soon enough if you areleonardo da vinci or just think you are, but in the meantime,it would be great... in the meantime,the apple ii is done. seven years. it was a great run. you should go out in thehouse and take your seat.

the mac is jef raskin's. say it for me. - computers aren't...- fuck you. all right. - we're there?- i need more time. you can't have it. - twenty minutes.- it's 8:58. we can start late. hear me. we're a computer company.we can't start late.

- then i have another idea.- what? it's deceptive andborderline unethical. i'm listening.it'll run on the 512. - you tested it?- yeah. wait. you're gonna demoa 128 computer on a 512? nobody's gonna know. and you think that's"borderline" unethical? name my other choices, please.

please, you have to tell me why it'sso important for it to say "hello." hollywood, they madecomputers scary things. see how this reminds youof a friendly face? that the disk slotis a goofy grin? it's warm and it's playful,and it needs to say "hello." it needs to say "hello"because it can. we're not committing fraud. the 512 is gonna shipin under a year. will you absolve me of youreastern european disapproval?

the computer in 2001said "hello" all the time, and it still scaredthe shit out of me. absolve me. just for this. and just for now. ladies andgentlemen, please welcome founding board member,mike markkula. all right. okay. go make a dentin the universe, steven.

see you in a couple of hours. and i'm going to take usthrough the formal part of the meeting. the legal part, if you will. thank merciful god.the cavalry's shown up. because i hear you've beenworse than usual this morning. i didn't thinkthat was possible, so i've been dispatchedas the "steve whisperer." this is a '55 margaux. it's 9:00 in the morning.

is it my imagination, or haveyou started to dress like me? it was a bad idea to have markkulaopen with quarterly reports. instead we should have justdropped water on the audience. just big 10,000-gallon tanks of coldwater, dropped from the ceiling. save mike some moneyon index cards. oh, just relax. why? i don't know. no one's everasked me that question. there you go.

you're the only one who seesthe world the same way i do. no one sees the worldthe same way you do. i'm like julius caesar, john. i'm surrounded by enemies. no, you're not. the board... oh, "the board ."the board's behind you. only because you seeto it they are. oh, i think it's a good board,

but if you want me topush them out one by one, we can talk about that. i want you topush them out all at once through a window,if it's the nearest exit. the look on their faceswhen we showed them the spot. i couldn't see their faces, because theywere banging their heads on the table. yesterday, the day afterit airs once, the publisher of adweek calls itthe best commercial of all time. of all time!

and it is. and if anyone does one better, it's gonna be chiat/day, whothe board wanted to replace, and it's gonna be lee clow, who theboard thought was out of his mind. ladies and gentlemen, 1984. we have created,for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology where each worker may bloomsecure from the pests of any contradictorytrue thoughts.

our unification of thoughts is more powerful a weapon thanany fleet or army on earth. we are one people... did we use skinheads as extras? a couple of peoplehave told me that. we paid skinheads? i've gotskinheads on my payroll? they had a look you wanted. - the skinheads?- yeah. okay, let's keepthat to ourselves.

we shall prevail! on january 24th, apple computer willintroduce macintosh. who else knows?who else knows what? that we paid terroriststo be in our tv commercial. john.they were wrong about the ad, but they're a good board.good people. their only problem... theirproblem is that they're people. people.

the very nature of peopleis something to be overcome. when i was running pepsi, we had a lot of successfocusing on 18-to 55-year-olds who weren't membersof violent hate groups. i get it. you're notsurrounded by enemies. we're almost there. i'm back and forth on the dylan. i might quote a different verse. what are the choices?

"for the loser now will be laterto win," which is what we have. or? "come mothers and fathersthroughout the land, "and don't criticizewhat you can't understand. "your sonsand your daughters..." "...are beyond your command ." i just lost a hundred bucksto andy hertzfeld. he said you'd change itto that verse. we got 45 seconds. i want touse it to ask you a question.

why do people who are adopted feel like they were rejectedinstead of selected? that came out of nowhere. "your sons and your daughtersare beyond your command. "your old roadis rapidly aging." so go fuck yourself, becausemy name is steve jobs, and "the timesthey are a-changing ." i don't feel rejected. - you're sure?- very sure.

because it's not like the baby isborn and the parents look and say, "nah, we're not interestedin this one." on the other hand,someone did choose you. it's having no control. you find outyou were out of the loop when the most crucial events inyour life were set in motion. as long as you have control. i don't understand peoplewho give it up. what inspired hertzfeldto make that bet?

he was warning me that being your father figurecould be dangerous. keep your 100 bucks. i'm sticking withthe first verse. good. what the hell does he mean?nothing. i'm proud of you. thank you, boss. it's my pleasure tointroduce my friend

and the ceo of apple, john sculley. - john?- yeah? lisa made a painting on the mac. the macintosh, apple'snear-mythological home computer, has gotten off to a rocky start in its battle withindustry titan ibm. with sales originally projected to be 1,000,000 inthe first quarter,

apple has sold only 35,000 ofthe user-friendly machines. the insistenceby steve jobs that it'd have what's called"end-to-end control," which is a way of sayingthat it's not compatible with most outsidehardware or software is the shakespearean flaw in amachine that had potential. apple computersclosed two of its factories today in the wake ofdisappointing sales. do you know howmany macs were sold last month?

500. in a move that surprisedsome, but not all, on wall street, the board of directorsof apple computers voted today to fireits co-founder, steve jobs. did he jump, or was he pushed? his ex-boss, apple ceo johnsculley, refused to comment. however,in an exclusive interview, steve wozniak has slammed the integrityof his old friend steve jobs. he calls jobs "an insultingand hurtful guy."

jobs is hitting back witha new company and a new computer. apple has a new competitor. steve jobs' black cube is aimedat the education market. few people have theability to make the world wait, but that is just what jobs isdoing with his new company, next. focus seems kind of sharp. on the slide? the floor. the pin spot. i think we want a sharp focus.

don't take it personally. just not a fan ofthe circus aesthetic. all right, let's hold here. we're gonna have to go upand refocus the instruments. just one, the 30 is fine. while we're holding, there arewell-wishers in the vip room. and woz is here. steve wozniak. yes,hey, thank you very much. and andy hertzfeld.

- andy hertzfeld.- thank you. john sculley is here, too. it's nice that he's here. really? i don't thinkit's very nice at all. you have to see them.they wanna pay their respects. if they were respectful, we'dall still be at apple right now. look... if they really wished me well,they'd keep it to themselves. can i tell you something? i don'tthink they do wish me well.

but i'm all right with that.i'm over apple. i got over the mac,and woz and sculley, the same way you get overyour high-school sweetheart. build a new one. - can i tell you something?- yes. you said you wouldn'tcompete with them, but you designed a computerspecifically for the education market, which they putatively own. so, i think it's coolthey're here.

they're suing me. still. it was nice they came. they're not being magnanimous. they want it to looklike an amicable divorce. history doesn't remember joedimaggio kindly for dumping marilyn. what's your problem? i don't know, but i'm sureit can be traced back to you. you know, i'm the one who hasto explain you to people.

$100,000 to paul randfor a corporate logo, when we didn't even knowwhat our company made. a $650,000 mold for the cube because god forbid the angles be90.1 instead of 90. i forbid the angles tobe 90.1 instead of 90. that box could be on displayat the guggenheim. don't give them reasonto say to the press you have a chipon your shoulder. will you do that for me?

i don't have a chipon my shoulder. okay, okay. but don't give thema reason to say you do. i don't. that's the right attitude. that's not an attitude. they're gonna call me back in aminute to look at the light. get one out of the way. fine!

- yeah?- yeah. one more thing. no questions fromthe press after. no? why? until i have better answers, no press avail. if somebody asks where i am, youjust saw me, and i'll be right back. who do you want first? bring me the faceof steve wozniak.

i thought you went to school.hang on. you were supposed to go to schoolan hour ago. i thought you left. i didn't wake up my momon time this morning. it's happened before, too. i wake up with the alarm, and theni get dressed and eat breakfast, but sometimes i forget to seewhat time it is after that. why doesn't your mom justset her own alarm clock? it's one of my chores. i don't understand what that hasto do with why you're still...

where's your mother? she went to find a payphone. an hour ago, she said... you don't have toraise your hand. you said it was off by a little. it is. i just measured it. joanna... exactly a footon all four sides.

there are six sides. but you'renot supposed be here right now. we know if four of the sidesare equal to each other, the other two must beequal as well. the top, bottom, right, and left are about a millimeter shorterthan the front and back. they're not, i measured them. lisa, i'm kind ofan expert in design. and that's a 20-cent ruler. you thinkthere's a chance it could be off? if i had another ruler,i would measure this ruler,

but i really doubt it's off. when your mother comes back, you have to go to school.because it's a ruler! why is it off? did you hear what i just said?yes. because sometimesit seems like you just keep saying what you wantwithout listening. i'm listening. is there something you need?

why isn't it a perfect cube? you've asked me before.i forget what it is. it's an optical anomaly. to the human eye, a perfectcube doesn't look like a cube, so we made it roughly a millimetershorter than a foot on two sides. what's an anomaly? you've asked methat before, too. i don't know whyyou keep doing that. it's an exception. somethingthat doesn't fit a pattern.

you have to go to school.come in! i think you two have met. hello, old friend. - you look well.- so do you. so do you. and they're telling me george isready for you to look at the focus. take a walk with me. - is this lisa?- yeah. - this can't be lisa.- it is.

lisa's this big. they get taller.come on. - do you remember me?- she doesn't. i'm your dad's friend,steve wozniak. i apologize,i don't remember you. you're very polite. - woz?- yeah. chrisann's at a payphone.would you find her? - good turnout.- great turnout. "insanely great."insanely great.

you know, this is the first time wehaven't played for the same team. it's like you're releasingyour first solo album. i appreciate yourinviting me to the launch. i just want to wipethe slate clean. that's exactly what i want.that's why i came backstage. i want you to knowi'll be out there with you. any chance i can get you togo out there instead of me? - i love you, steve.- i love you, too, woz. you know, somethings were said. they were.

they were said in public.they were published. were you pressured to do it? was i what? check it out. it's the orchestra pitfor the san francisco opera. was i pressured to do it? i once met seiji ozawaat tanglewood. a thunderous conductor. godly artfulness and nuance.

and i asked him what exactly aconductor does that a metronome can't. surprisingly, he... he didn't beatthe living shit out of you? that's right. no, he said, "the musicians playtheir instruments. "i play the orchestra." that feels like something that soundsgood, but doesn't mean anything. markkula, sculley. they ask youto slag me off in the press? i had reason to be angry.

- did they?- absolutely not. but they asked you to talk. apple was under siege,you'd just left the company. someone had to talkto the press. i'm right here, woz.the company left me. i begged you.i begged you. the apple ii accountedfor 70% of the revenue. what did you thinkwas gonna happen? you didn't care enough aboutthe apple ii or the lisa.

let's be really clear. i didn't care at all aboutthe apple ii or the lisa. i wasn't pressured to do it. what i said to the press was an honest, if tempered,reflection of what i believed. - woz.- yeah? what the fuck is on your wrist? you wanna know?i literally can't wait. everyone's gonna bewearing these in 10 years.

it's a nixie watch,made using nixie tubes. this is actually40-year-old technology. cold-cathode tubes. they'reoperating at 140 volts. i tilt my wrist 45 degrees,it's right there. hours, minutes, and seconds. the way our minds work. look at that. do me a favor. set the watch ahead like you're on aplane and just changed time zones.

not a problem. unscrew that, just hit the button. excuse me, flight attendant, the man next to me would appearto be detonating a bomb. you think this lookslike a bomb. even right now,i'm not 100% sure it isn't. i think maybe once peopleget used to it... i was angry.

you were saying thingsabout the apple ii, and the way you weretreating the team... you get a free pass for life. i got to get back onstage. we got, like, two minutesof rehearsal time left. do you understand howcondescending that just was? maybe you don't. i don't want to see youget dragged off an airplane inplastic handcuffs.

i get a free passfor life from you? you give out the passes? you give them to me? you're gonna have a stroke,little buddy. what did you do? why has lisa not heard of me? shit, man, how manyfourth-graders have heard of you? you can't write code. you're not an engineer.you're not a designer.

you can't puta hammer to a nail. i built the circuit board. the graphicalinterface was stolen from xerox parc. jef raskin was the leaderof the mac team before you threw him offhis own project. everything! someone elsedesigned the box. so, how come 10 times in a day iread "steve jobs is a genius"? what do you do?

i play the orchestra. and you're a good musician. you sit right there. you'rethe best in your row. i came here to clear the air! do you know why i came here? didn't you just answer that? i came here becauseyou're gonna get killed. your computer's gonna fail. you had a college anduniversity advisory board

telling you they need a powerfulworkstation for $2,000 to $3,000. you've priced next at $6,500. and that doesn't include theoptional $3,000 hard drive, which people will discoverisn't optional. because the optical diskis too weak to do anything. and the $2,500 laser printer brings the total to $12,000. and, in the entire world, you are the only person who caresthat it's housed in a perfect cube.

you're gonna get killed. and i came here to stand nextto you while that happens because that's what friends do. that's what men do.i don't need your "pass." we go back, so don't talk tome like i'm other people. i'm the only one that knows that this guy hereis someone you invented. i'm standing by you because thatperfect cube, that does nothing, is about to bethe single biggest failure

in the history ofpersonal computing. tell me something elsei don't know. back onstage? we're out of time. they've got tomop the stage and open the house. if it crashes,it crashes, right? you'll make a joke. i'll make a joke. if it crashes, it crashes. it's a good slogan."next. if it crashes, it crashes."

i'm not just talkingabout the demo, steve. if it tanks,we don't swallow cyanide. we go back to the drawing board. no more drawing boards. invent the edsel twice, you don'tget any more drawing boards. tell me what the plan is. you have to tell me the plan,because i don't know. you're walking around likeyou've got "can't lose" cards. the plan will reveal itself toyou when you're ready to see it.

will i have to drop acid? couldn't hurt. is there a plan? have i ever let you down? every single goddamn time. then i'm due. is there? joanna, there's a plan. i just don't wanna put you in aposition where you're lying to people.

start 15 minutes lateso avie can recompile and give us a fighting chance. jesus christ! how many timesare we gonna have this... we're not starting late ever!fine! we're not ever starting late!"...ever starting late." but where do you come downon starting late? lisa's been doing this thing where she asks me about stuffi've already told her. she asks me questions, and i knowshe already knows the answers.

what's that about? kids do that when they're scared one of their parentsis in a bad mood. they try to get you talkingabout something you like. it's very commonand can be treated by talking to herabout things she likes. do you have any experienceor training in this field? tell them to open the house. where's lisa?

she's around. what does that mean? she's runningaround the building. an hour ago, you said youwere taking her to school. she begged me to let her stay. there are fatherswho would so love... it is wrong, okay? it is morallywrong, it's parentally wrong. it is wrong for you to use lisa asa way of getting money from me. she'll know,if she doesn't already,

that that is yourprimary use for her. and she will hate youfor the rest of your life. she will see,if she doesn't already, that her mother is a woman who standsup to men. by living off of them. by not letting myself beimprisoned and degraded by them. imprisoned?i can't get rid of you. i need a doctor,and i need a dentist. i dropped out of college after asemester, but, okay, let's have a look.

you will support yourdaughter and her mother. did you pay someone $1,500to bless your house? did you hear what i said?did you? i don't rememberhow much it was, steve. it was $1,500. they don't do it for free. - they don't.- they charge $1,500. how i spend... fuck. you know what?i'm not even...

were you about to say, "how i spendmy money is none of your business"? i have a sinus infection, andi need to see a dentist, too. so you can see how your "blessing"budget could have been better spent. like on a perfect cube? - look at me, chrisann.- what? you know who i am, right? yes. and you know i know people. what are you talking about?look at me.

and you know the people iknow, they know people. what is this? if i ever hear againthat you've thrown a cereal bowl at lisa's head... what?... my privateline's gonna ring. and a voice on the other endis gonna say, "we're all set." that's how i'll learn that you're dead.are you... i threw the bowl on the floor. i didn't throw it at her head.

she wasn't even in the room! she was nowhere... she's a little girl.you're scaring her. i'm a grown man.you're scaring me. taking out the garbageis a chore. clearing the table is a chore. waking you up in the morningis just fucking creepy. please teach me moreabout being a parent. we're all done here.

it means so much coming fromsomeone who won't admit he is one. stop screaming at lisa.i give her responsibilities! got it. and one day she'sgonna thank me for it! probably in your sleep.fuck off! i never... i neverthrew anything at her head! i never would. things don't become sobecause you say so. there'll be more money in youraccount by the end of business. were you being nice?

oh, yeah. andy's next. hertzfeld or cunningham? hertzfeld. he's playing with avie tevanianon the computer backstage. ladies and gentlemen,the house is now open. ...playing in frontof thousands of people. can he do it later, joel?we go in eight minutes. can i just get a quick reactionto the press this morning?

what about it? the sizeof it, the volume. i'll tell you on background... i was hoping fora quote from steve. i'll tell you on background that i've never seen anythinglike it in the tech industry. i called the wall street journal to take outa full-page ad for today, and do you know whattheir sales guy said? "why bother? it'd be like notifyingmacy's that tomorrow is christmas."

you saw the stewart alsopnewsletter? i did. i'm sorry, joanna, i need toget steve on the record. the headline was, "dear next,when can i get my machine?" when can he? we'll announce the ship datein the next eight to 10 weeks. alsop's not talkingabout the ship date. he wants to know when hecan get one to play with. we have a lot ofrespect for stewart alsop,

and we want to geta machine into his hands so he can tellhis subscribers about it. - when will that be?- very soon. a couple of days?a week? off the record. - off the record?- completely. we think... he'll get it when it's finished. it's not finished? it's almost finished.

i've been watching you rehearsethe demo for three weeks. - what's left?- a little thing. - what?- i think that's... we're off the record, and joel's alwaysbeen good at understanding nuance. what's left to finish? i guess, in layman's terms, you'dhave to say we don't have an os. - an operating system?- yeah. what do you mean? well, the os iswhat runs the computer.

in fact, it sort ofis the computer. how has it been running? how'sit gonna run this morning? what do you mean,you don't have an os? it's like this. avie tevanian is ourchief software designer, and he wrote a demo program. it's like we built a great car, but we haven't built the engine. so we put a golf-cart battery in thereto make it go for a little bit.

all this computer knows how to doright now is demonstrate itself. you're telling me the only thingyou've built is a black cube? yes. yeah. but isn't it the coolestblack cube you've ever seen? - is this...- we're off the record. is this a strategy or a problem, because if it's a problem... do not share proprietaryknowledge with that man. it's not a problem. i wouldn't understand it anyway.

i don't understand it either,and my name's on the patents. it's got email. well, email's not justfor tech specialists anymore. well, it is, but it won't be. and i assume an email senton a next computer can only be receivedby a next computer? closed, end-to-end. the new trash can is wrong. i wanna tell you i appreciateall the hours you put into it,

but i can't becauseof how terrible it is. go back to the other one. and why are we still givingthree options on the clock? how many optionsdo you wanna give? two. "buy it" or "don't." can i talk to you for a second?abso-fruitly. uh, look, man, avie's been recompiling,but he says there may be someglitches this morning.

if all there are,are some glitches, it'll be a triumph ofmiraculous magnitude. why are youtranslating for avie? i didn't want himto find out the hard way your position onglitches in a demo, but it sounds likeyou've mellowed. i've been growing, andy. i'vebeen learning to love myself. mmm, i wouldn't have everdreamed that was a problem. fantastic burn.you need to go to your seat.

how about lisa, getting intoa school for gifted kids? yeah, she was tested,and it turns out she can fly. but, seriously, it's a big deal. i know it's a big deal . that's whyi built the school a building. well, i'm surethat's not why she got in. really? can i show you somethingfunny from macworld? i can't think of anythingi have to do right now. it'll make you feel good.

joanna! look at this! oh, andy, he's only gota couple of minutes. it's guy kawasaki writing in macworld.you're gonna like this. well, can we all enjoy it later? he wrote a parody press release aboutapple buying next for your os. he imagines a near future,where apple needs your os and has to buy next,and you come back as ceo. he has gates saying, "there wouldnow be more innovations from jobs "that microsoft could copy."

you can read it later. thanks. she would've gotten in withoutyou donating a building. still, it's something totalk about in the interview. all right. good luck. give that to me. i'llthrow it out for you. i'm gonna hang on to it. you ready for sculley? excuse me! lisa!

you can't shout! lisa? you have to go. it's dangerous up here. that'swhy i make other people do it. who are you hiding from,me or your mom? i'm not hiding. let's go. what were you listening to? i'm listening to twoversions of the same song.

and then, when i get to the end, i rewind to listento them again. it's the same song, but theversions are different. - what's the song?- okay. so, it's a really old song, andit's called both sides, now. "both sides, now"? what's it about? it's about... there are three verses.clouds, love, and life. and the person singing is singingthat they used to think of...

that they used to think about... clouds, love, and life? right. one way, yeah, but now theylook at them another way, and they... they've come tothe conclusion that they really don't know clouds,love, or life at all. those are the exact words. yeah, joni mitchell, 'cause it's not a really old song,unless i'm a really old guy. you have to go to school now.

do you want me to tell you thedifferences between the two versions? right now. the first version is the kind ofthing that you would call girlish. i didn't mean i want to knowthe difference right now. i meant you have togo to school right now. i can stay and watch. you are truant.you're committing a crime. i'm not gonna missanything important. how do you know?

i read ahead. the pilgrims make itto the new world. then, the declarationof independence. yeah, you skippeda couple of centuries. steve? chrisann's out there. let's go! can i make my case for staying? nope.

she was with me. come on. your daddoesn't want us to stay. that's not true. that's not... you have to bein school, is all. i'm committinga crime right now, and i don'twanna get in trouble. you're not in trouble.i was kidding. hey. what wasthe second version? you said the first version was girlish,what was the second version?

i can't reallythink of the word. okay. well,have a good day at school. "regretful." like, wishing you could goback and do things different. you're too youngto be regretful. not me. the person singing the song. got it. "regretful."that makes sense because... i wanna live with you.

six minutes. - you want to see sculley?- no. you know all those timesi told you, you needed security? here's why. i don't know how it is i'vegotten older and you haven't. some deal with the devili was never offered. so, you know what i've beenthinking for the last four years? as it turns out, john, i've neverknown what you were thinking. no newborn baby has control.

do you know whati'm talking about? in '84, before the mac launch.you said... you said that being adoptedmeant you didn't have control. we're startingin a minute, so... why do people think i fired you? it's fine, john.it's all behind us. is it? hmm? don't play stupid.you can't pull it off.

you came here to ask me whypeople think you fired me? just confirmsomething for me, okay? you liked the ad. right? the commercial,1984. you liked it. when are yougonna get furniture? it's not an easy process. it is. you buy acouch, take it from there. i'd be really surprisedif you came here to talk aboutinterior decorating.

i liked the ad very much. - you did?- you know i did. you're a lying son of abitch who tried to kill it. it's time to takea hard look at the mac. it's past time. it's overpriced. we need to drop it to $1,995. weneed to double the marketing budget, put more bodies on an internal harddrive and invest in fileserver. where the hell did you get theidea that i tried to kill...

- lee clow.- lee's wrong. - he's lying?- he's mistaken. where would the money come from? it would come from finallygetting rid of the apple ii. the apple ii is theonly thing making money. you agreed with the board. i understood the board'sconcerns, but i... the board's concerns thatwe didn't show the product? among other things,but my question was...

what other things? honestly, i'mjust asking 'cause i'm curious. you said "among other things." among other things. it wasset in a dystopian galaxy. it took place on a planetwhere we don't live. it was dark, and theopposite of our brand. and we didn't show the product. people talked about the ad, but most ofthem didn't know what we were selling. the mac needsto sell for $1,995. there is no marketresearch telling us

that the mac is failingbecause it's overpriced. it's telling us thatpeople don't like it because they think itdoesn't do anything. it's closed, end-to-end. we didn't know it wasn't whatpeople wanted, but it isn't. they want slots, they wantchoices, they want options. the way we buy stereos,mix and match components. john, listen to me. whoever said the customeris always right was,

i promise you, a customer. it had skinheads in it. she was liberating them.liberating the skinheads. the ad didn't have anything todo with fucking skinheads! we used them as fucking extras. nobody even knowsthey were skinheads! i'm just saying,the board had concerns... you inventedlifestyle advertising. and "our brand" was my brand.

my job is to make arecommendation to the board. we showed a lot of happypeople drinking pepsi. we didn't say the world was goingto end if you bought a dr. pepper! recommend that we drop the price and double the marketing budget. i can't. and we showed the product! we showed it being opened,we showed it being poured, being consumed!

what are you gonna do? recommendthat we kill the mac? i already have, steve. when? you think the secret toyour success was not assuming people knewwhat to do with a can of soda? i didn't kill the ad, steve! i'm the only reasonit made it on the air! just now. an hour ago, i'm comingfrom markkula's house.

what did he say? what did he say?invent something new. i'll give you a team,you can sit in maui. the resorts come with couches. wait a minute. are you saying yourecommended terminating the mac? or you recommended taking meoff the mac team? we bought three spotsin the super bowl. two 30s and a 60. and after we screened it, theboard wanted that money back,

and they asked me tosell off the spots. chiat/day sold off thetwo 30s, but not the 60, and i let it be knownto lee clow that if he didn't try very hard to sell the last spot,i wouldn't be unhappy. if we drop the priceand double the budget... you can't drop the priceor double the budget! i mean, the only way to do that isto take money out of the apple ii. the apple ii should embarrass you.it embarrasses me.

it doesn't embarrassthe shareholders. i don't give a shitabout the shareholders! that's why i hired you, so i don'tever have to hear about shareholders! the shareholders are my problem, and the board representsthe shareholders! that's how it works! you sure it wasn't lee clow whodragged his feet selling the 60? at my direction, steve. you think he would have done thaton his own, taken it on himself?

yeah. i think he would've donewhat it took to save it from you. i was the only thingprotecting it! you didn't want the ad because you were trying to kill themac two months before it launched! you are fucking delusional! can i mention something to you?sure. i have no earthly ideawhy you're here. the story of whyand how you left apple, which is quickly becomingmythologized, isn't true.

i'm gonna take thisto the board myself. - don't do that.- i am doing that. you can't. they believe you're no longernecessary to this company. i get hate mail. death threats. i get death threats! my kids are getting taunted. joanna's gonna callmy name in a second.

- steve?- that was unrehearsed. yeah, i'll be therein just a second! i gave you your day in court. you "gave" me? i gave theboard a clear choice. i said, "do you want to investin the apple ii or the mac?" and they chose the apple ii. the same people who wantedto dump the super bowl spot. and then i got ona plane to china. mr. sculley, there's a callfor you on line 1.

or i almost got on a plane, becausei got a call in the lounge. who made that call?doesn't matter. it matters to me.who made the call? john, if you get on that plane, you'll have lost your jobby the time it lands. steve's been calling the board.he wants you out. i left my bags on the plane. my shit's still somewherein beijing. i took a car back to cupertino inthe middle of the fucking night.

i know what time it is. i need a quorum here in one hour,and i want steve here, too. you took me off themac, and it was bad business. the quorum call was a homicide. right there! that's the partthat's bullshit, my friend. it was a suicide, becauseyou knew your cards, and i showed you mine. i showed you mine,and you did it anyway. what did you thinki was going to do?

i'm okay losing,but i'm not gonna forfeit. i'm not okay losing. we're losing market share, and the mac is losing money. our only hope is the apple ii,which is stagnating because of itssoon-to-be obsolete dos. users are already rigging their machinesto run with a cp/m operating system that's been builtto run on intel. i can't put itmore simply than this.

we need to put our resourcesinto updating the apple ii. by taking resourcesfrom the mac. - it's failing.- that's a fact. it's overpriced. there'sno evidence that it's... i'm the evidence! i'm the world's leadingexpert on the mac, john. what's your resume? you're issuingcontradictory instructions, you're insubordinate,you make people miserable,

our top engineers are fleeingto sun, dell, hp. wall street doesn't knowwho's driving the bus. we've lost hundredsof millions in value, and i'm the ceo of apple, steve. that's my resume. but before that, you soldcarbonated sugar water, right? i sat in a fucking garage withwozniak and invented the future. because artists lead and hacksask for a show of hands! all right. well,this guy's out of control.

i'm perfectly willing to handin my resignation tonight, but if you want me to stay,you can't have steve. settle him out. he can keep a share of stock,so he gets our newsletter. he'll have to severhis connection to apple. i'm dead serious. i want thesecretary to call for a vote. i fucking dare you. you have done an outstandingjob over the years of cultivating the press, and bythat i mean manipulating them

because none of them,none of their editors, none of their editors'publishers, to this day, know that you forced it. that you forced the board. even after i told youexactly what they'd do, which is exactly what they did. unanimously. i don't have any troubleremembering that, john, because of it beingthe worst night of my life.

and i forced the vote becausei believed i was right. i still believe i'm right.and i'm right. now, i bled that night. and i don't bleed. but time's done its thing. and i really haven't thoughtabout it in a while. i absolutely understandwhy you're upset. and i want peopleto know the truth, too. it's time.

got it. you're gonna end me, aren't you? you're being ridiculous. i'm gonna sit center courtand watch you do it yourself. then i'm gonna order a nicemeal with a '55 margaux, and sign some autographs.jesus christ... you want some advice,pepsi generation? don't send woz out to slap mearound in the press. anybody else.you, markkula, arthur rock.

anyone but rain man. don't manipulate him like that. whatever you may think,i'm always gonna protect him. come on, steve. that's what men do. we can't start late. i don't think there was any wayto detect a chip on my shoulder. did you know, back at bandley the mac team gavean award every year

to the person who couldstand up to you? i won. three years in a row. cool. this... this... this guy kawasaki in macworld... he accidentallygot it right, didn't he? you've been draggingyour feet on the next os until you can figure outwhat apple's going to need.

even if that were true, it doesn'tsound that diabolical to me. hey. we're ready for you! i'm your closest confidante,your best friend. your thing...what do you call it? your "work wife." the whole time!the last three years... when did you change your mind and start building the stevejobs revenge machine? house to half.

do you remember skylab? it was an unmanned satellitenasa sent up in the early '70s on a data-gathering mission. the thing is,when they sent it up, they didn't know yet how theywere going to get it back. but they felt likethey were close enough that in the eight years it was goingto be up there, they'd figure it out. they're on their way now. they didn't.

so, after eight years, it came crashing down in a 1,000-mileswath across the indian ocean. a little to the left,a little to the right, somebody could have gotten hurt. i really wanted to builda computer for colleges. the technology just didn't catchup as fast as i needed it to. and you know we're out of money. ladies and gentlemen, theprogram will be starting momentarily. but then, apple stoppedinnovating, and i saw something better.

joanna, i know schoolsaren't going to buy a $13,000 dictionarywith good speakers. you know i know that. but apple will. because avie tevanian is going tobuild them exactly the os they need. they're going tohave to buy me, too. for half a billiondollars in stock, and end-to-end controlon every product. ladies and gentlemen,please welcome...

more than ayear after it was first unveiled to industry insiders, the next computer is finallyavailable in stores. and it appears to be twostrikes in a row for steve jobs. students and educatorsare finding it difficult to justifythe machine's high cost. so much for the black cube. next just soldits factory to canon, and laid off half its employees.

in the world of computers,it's kill or be killed. apple computer hasfallen on hard times. it is laying offabout 2,500 people. apple iscontinuing to lose market share with no new innovationsin the pipeline except the newton, a petproject of ceo john sculley. if you really want tobe mobile, you want a newton pda. but, then again,maybe you don't. it turns handwritinginto computer text.

hey, dolph, take a memo on your newton."beat up martin." in 1980, applehad 30% of the market. today, apple has only 3.2%. that's it. john sculleyhas been fired from apple. and whatabout this internet thing? do you know anything about that? uh, it is the big, new thing. rumors are flying aroundapple computer once again, over who willtake over the helm.

in the news at this hour, aremarkable high-tech reunion. well, it's happening. in a billion-dollar shake-up, apple is purchasingnext computer's operating system,which may mean... ls the prodigalson returning? bet on it. guess what. mac is back. apple co-founder steven jobs... steve jobs... steve jobs...

steve jobsis returning to apple. if you want to beam your digitalphotographs from your digital camera, it's built into every product. we'regoing to the new generation of i/o. 12-megabyte usb. two ports. we're leavingthe old apple i/o behind. stereo surround soundbuilt into every product. a great keyboard, and thecoolest mouse you've ever seen. this time, we used actual mice. we're opening the housein 10 minutes. steven?

do you want to stophorsing around? bless my eyes. that's steve wozniak,sitting out there. give yourselvesa treat and ask woz if he happens to havethe correct time. i have the correct time,and we're running out of it. "a great keyboard." a great keyboard and the coolestmouse you've ever seen. this is what those thingslook like today.

and now, i'd like to show you whatthey're going to look like tomorrow. this is the imac. that was cool. why did i like thatbetter than i usually do? i don't know.something was different. hey, stupid! i think she's talking to one of you guys. - did you notice a difference?- that's what i'm... the exit signs were off.

full blackout. you did it! we wired all the exitlights to our board. they go out with the cuefor seven seconds, then come back on again,in theory. we think that's legal? no, we're very certain it's not. you want to see some quotes? let's hold off on those.no, he'll like them.

i'll show them to you later. i'll take them now. i'm sorry. pick it up from there, please. we only have a couple of minutes,so let's just do the 360. we're going to bring out awireless camera we stole from panasonic. i'll show youwhat this looks like. the whole thing is translucent.you can see into it. how's thatfor a compromise, woz?

you still can't get into it,but you can see into it. fair enough. we put stereo speakers infront, infrared right up here. cd-rom drive in the middle. nice. dual stereo headphone jacks, and all the connectorsare inside one beautiful little door, here. ethernet, usb.

even though this is a full-bloodedmacintosh, we're targeting it for the number-one use the consumerstell us they want a computer for. - which is...- let's hold it, please! hold it. the answer was "the internet." - joanna?- yeah. just stand in front of me. i want to look at these quotes,but i don't want joel to know. they're all great.

"it is not only the coolest-lookingcomputer introduced in years, "but a chest-thumping statement "that silicon valley's original dreamcompany is no longer somnambulant." - it's a word. it means "sleepwalking."- steve? i'm sorry, we have to clear the houseif we're going to start on time. we're absolutely starting on time.we're going to start on time. here, take this. everybody, that's it. they've got to mop the stage,reset, and open the house.

i love you guys. andy, come on back a minute. - which one?- hertzfeld. forbes calls itan industry-altering success. look here. why haven't we everslept together? we're not in love. look. sculley. look what he said.

"he has implementedthe same simple strategy "that made apple sosuccessful 15 years ago. "make hit products and promotethem with terrific marketing." that was nice of him. it was. i meant it. sightings of j.d. salinger aremore common than john sculley. i wasn't being sarcastic.it was nice of him. do you talk to him?

you haven't talkedto him since '88? i'd have told you if i did. i don't want people thinkingthey can cross me and then, boom, 15 yearslater, i'm cool with it. i was kidding. what's wrong with youthis morning? let's get off the stage. "the only thing apple's providingnow is leadership in colors." don't worry about it.

what does bill gateshave against me? i don't know. you're bothout of your minds. listen to me. he dropped out of a betterschool than i dropped out of. but he's a tool bag.i'll tell you why. make everythingall right with lisa. - you know, joanna?- boundaries. you've come to my apartment at 1:00 a.m.and cleaned it. so tell me wherethe boundary is.

there. let's say it's there. if i give you somereal projections, will you promise not torepeat them from the stage? what do you mean,"real projections"? what have you been giving me? conservative projections. marketing's been lying to me? we've been managing expectationsso that you don't not. what are the real projections?

we're going to sell a millionunits in the first 90 days. - holy shit!- yeah. you see? you waitlong enough, and... what's more, 32% of the sales are going to go to people buyinga computer for the first time. and 12% are going to people usingsome kind of windows machine. that's what bill gateshas against you. and it'll be the fastest-sellingcomputer in history. you brought the companyback from life support

after going through the miseryof laying off 3,000 people and cutting 70% ofthe product line. so, steven, it's over. you're going to win. it would be criminalnot to enjoy this moment. i'm enjoying it. make things all right with lisa. - you know...- come on.

i don't like having less privacythan other people have. does being a multi-billionairetake some of the sting off that? all lisa did... all lisadid was give her blessing. chrisann sold the house and... and lisa could have done what? how was she supposed to stop hermother from selling her own house? that i boughtfor the two of them. how was she supposedto stop her? voicing an objection would have beena step in the right direction.

you don't think you're havinga bizarre overreaction to a 19-year-old girl allowing hermother to list her own house? she could've tried. how is she supposed to stop hermother, that particular mother... she gave chrisann herblessing to sell the house, and she did it to spite me! i don't care if she put a pipebomb in the water heater! you're going to fix it, now. she's been acting weird for months.she's turned on me.

- fix it.- what the... - fix it, steve.- take it easy! fix it or i quit.how about that? i quit and you never see me again.how about that? tell me what's wrongwith you this morning. what's been wrongwith me for 19 years. i've been a witness, and itell you i've been complicit. i love you, steve.you know how much. i love that you don't care howmuch money a person makes,

you care what they make. but what you make isn't supposedto be the best part of you. when you're a father, that's what's supposed to bethe best part of you. and it's caused me two decades ofagony, steve, that it is for you the worst. it's a little thing.it's a very small thing. fix it. fix it now, or you cancontact me at my new job,

working anywhere i want. i don't happen to thinkit is a little deal. - she knew that...- no. - i bought the house for the two of.- no. what do you mean, "no"?i mean, no. the house has nothing to dowith why you're angry at lisa. i assure you,the house has everything to do with whyi'm angry at lisa. have you ever heard the phrase"reality distortion field"?

as in, "steve'sreality distortion field"? - i've heard it.- i've read it. it's been sungto me by joan baez. what you calla reality distortion field, and i'm pretty sure you're theone who coined the phrase, is the reason we're here. i know that. if i traded in mybank account for a dollar every time somebody told mesomething was impossible,

i'd come out ahead. i know that, too.what's the problem? my problem?it sure isn't the house. jo, i... it's that you told her you weren'tgoing to pay for harvard. that child. thatearnest, un-ironic kid. she told you i wasn'tpaying her tuition? i should have hit you withsomething heavy a long time ago. lisa told you i wasn'tpaying her tuition?

andy told me that. how would hertzfeld know? he wrote harvard a check for$25,000 to cover the semester. are you fucking... he paid her tuition? isn't that why youjust asked to see him? no, i asked to see himabout something... did you tell her you weren'tgoing to pay for college? yes, because...how could you do that?

because her mother,who is also her landlord... hertzfeld? i was ranting! i was just talking!you think i would... i was pissed off because lisa wastrying to piss me off, joanna. that was her intent! you obviously scaredthe hell out of her! - hertzfeld wrote a check to harvard.- pay for... is she here yet? i'm sure she is.

can you have someonebring her back? you know, my grandmother alwaysused to say to me... i don't give a shit, yentl. i'll have someone get lisa.thank you. and if you see hertzfeld... it's andy! speak ofthe devil's chief engineer. go. come on in.

you look great today. - thank you.- doesn't she? she looks fantastic.always does. get out. well, i think i knowwhy i'm here. - do you?- steve... did you send the check yet? so harvard got a tuition check fromandy hertzfeld to pay for lisa? i don't thinkthey look that carefully.

i don't think they'd notice thecheck didn't come from you. close one. this was almostembarrassing for me. i understand how... i'llwire you the money today. i understand how you feel.and i do apologize, i do. but, let me tell youmy thinking. i can't even think of an appropriateanalogy to describe what you did. i knew you guys would fix things.you always do. but in the meantime,if the money wasn't there,

she'd miss a semester of school. and she'd have totell her friends why. and she needed things.she needed socks. it's cold in cambridge.she needed warm socks. you gave her socks? well, i gave her moneyfor socks. you don't get to deputizeyourself as her interim. you don't get to override my decisions.do you understand? you don't get to actlike you're her father.

somebody had to. what the fuck did youjust say to me? i've known hersince she was six. i also consider... chrisann's my friend,outside of what you and i... outside of our relationship. so you're like a family advisor. i'm a family friend. then you probably know thatlisa's been seeing a therapist.

- for many years.- yeah. without my knowledge. that really wasn't my business. i'm fascinated by what youthink is and isn't your business. lisa's been going to atherapist, and she likes it. and would love for you andchrisann to go with her. and the reasonyou know that is because you're the one thatrecommended the therapist. well, i know a guy.

no, i mean you're the one whorecommended that she see a therapist. you know what? it was a while ago, and i don'tremember how the whole... you told chrisann that lisashould see a therapist. steve, you're stigmatizing.it's a perfectly norm... it's not... my thing was,how can it hurt? let's find out. chrisann is my friend. what was the reason you gave?

you mean... what was the reason you gave chrisannwhy lisa should see a therapist? i don't remember. we weretalking and i said... it's pretty muchwhat i just said, that it certainly couldn't hurt. you didn't say that lisa neededa strong male role model? i think it's a miracleshe's not robbing banks with the symbioneseliberation army. there is no reason in theworld why she should be nice.

but she is. so i helped. because somebody had to. i'll wire the moneyto you this afternoon. you threatened mea long time ago. sorry? a long time ago,you threatened me once. people are attractedto people with talent. people without itfind that threatening.

maybe you should see a therapist.certainly couldn't hurt. i meant you literallythreatened me. at flint,right before the mac launch. i was recompiling . i wastrying to debug the voice demo. and you said if i couldn'tfind a solution, you'd call me outin front of the audience. did it say "hello"? it did. no need to thank me.

why do you want peopleto dislike you? i don't want peopleto dislike me. i'm indifferent to whetherthey dislike me. since it doesn't matter,i always have. i've always liked you a lot. that's too bad. knock 'em dead. what is remarkable, what'shard to fathom but true is that for a givenclock rate, a powerpc chip

is twice as fastas a pentium ii chip. in other words,a 266 megahertz g3 chip is twice as fastas a 266 megahertz pentium ii. or... a 266 g3 is equal toabout 500 megahertz. take a look at byte magazine's bytemarks, the gold standard for any... come in. i sent someone into the lobby.they found her and she... where is she?

she said she'd rathernot come back. that was it. i'm going out there myself.you can't. you can't. it'll be a sceneout of hard day's night. excuse me? hey, joel. andy said it was okayto come back. - which one?- andy cunningham. i can't do this forever.

i need one of themto change their name. you callandy cunningham "andrea." it doesn't matterwhat i call them. i know who i'm talking aboutwhen i'm talking. i need everyone else tocall them different names. give me one second. can you go get herfor me, please? i just talked to andy hertzfeld. i'm just trying to scrub thisout of my brain with drano.

but i do want to talk to lisa. okay, just... - stay cool.- okay. hey, steve. how are you feeling? i'm feeling good, joel.how about you? i don't think i could be in your business.it changes too quickly. well, i'd hang on,'cause yours is about to start changingpretty quickly, too.

this is the third time in 14years i'm writing about you. what do you think so far? uh, avie's looking for you.he has a new shark. want to come backstagefor a second? who's this one? alan turing. single-handedly wonworld war ii and, for an encore,invented the computer. he won't be part ofthe campaign, though.

because you just hadto ask me who he was. can i see new shark? - i like it better than the old shark.- sharks. sharks. how many sharksdid you go through? - a couple.- this is the 39th. we're on the record. thirty-nine sharks. you know what's specialabout this shark? what?

no, i'm really asking,because it looks exactly like the other 38 sharks to me. let me see it with the cue.from the profile. this is cue 92-b. this is a profile here. and this is whatit looks like from the back. and one more thing . it eats pentiumnotebooks as a light snack. this is the shark. i really like it.

nobody gets it rightthe first time, but i should have been shownthis shark 15, 20 fish ago. you probably were. lock it in. 10 minutes. he killed himself by taking a biteof a poison apple. alan turing. yeah. there should bestatues of that man. his name should be on thelips of schoolchildren. the rainbow flag applewith a bite taken out.

that's where it came from? no, we picked it off a listof friendly-sounding words. but wouldn't it be great if thathad been the story behind it? kinda liked the last shark. i wanted to ask you a favor. my friend, a long time ago, you asked me a favor before aproduct launch, and i said no. - you wanted me to acknowledge.- hang on. if you're about to sayyou were wrong,

i want to preparethis journalist. i was 100% right. and you werespectacularly wrong. but i still owe you afavor, so name it. but it can't be about acknowledgingthe apple ii team. acknowledge the apple ii team. how about in private? - no. no.- is this a prank? because i'm trying to rememberthat a 300 megahertz g3 chip...

just the top guys. - excuse me, okay?- yep. one second. she said she'd rather not. she's sitting with her friends, and she said she'drather not come back. okay. tell her... take her aside, i don't want to embarrass herin front of her friends,

but tell her i just scaredthe shit out of andy, and this time, nobody'spaying her fucking... - all right.- don't say that. but do your thing, whereyou sound old and wise because of the broad, tragiceuropean canvas of your life. you know i wasn't born in a19th century shtetl, right? please tell her it's important. - everything all right?- yeah. there are peoplearound here, man,

including a member of the press. i see him. just the top guys, the oneswho are getting laid off. listen, okay? last year, applelost one billion dollars. i don't even knowhow that's possible. you were less than 90 daysfrom being insolvent. i had three different accountantstry to explain it to me. the whole place hasto be streamlined. start with two of the accountants.i started with the...

joel, could you come off-stage? we're going to go backstage.leave him right there. i started with the apple ii teambecause we don't make that anymore. just acknowledge the top guys. have a mimosa and relax. you will not blow me offright now, steve! the top guys... there are no top guys.all right? on the apple ii team,there are no top guys.

they're b players. and b players discouragethe a players. and i want a playersat apple, and not dell. they're not b players, andi'm a better judge of that! less than 90 daysfrom insolvency. in part, because somebody thoughtthe newton wasn't a box of garbage. joel, could you come off stage please?leave him! i'm talking about... you guys designed and shipped a littlebox of garbage while i was gone.

i'm talking about the apple ii! which is not just a crucialpart of this company's history, it is a crucial part of thehistory of personal computing! for a time. the least you can do, if you'regoing to downsize these people... they're going to live in thebiggest houses of anyone on the unemployment line. ...is to acknowledge them! acknowledge them and theapple ii during this launch!

this is a new animal. this whole placewas built by the apple ii. you were built by the apple ii. as a matter of fact,i was destroyed by the apple iiand its open system, so that hackers and hobbyists couldbuild ham radios, or something! and then,it nearly destroyed apple when you spentall your money on it and developed a grand totalof no new products.

the newton.the little box of garbage. you guys came upwith the newton. you, like,want people to know that? this is a product launch,not a luncheon. and the last thing i want todo is connect the imac to... to the only successful productthat this company has ever made. i'm sorry to be blunt, butthat happens to be the truth. the lisa was a failure.the macintosh was a failure. i don't like talking like this,

but i am tired of being ringowhen i know i was john. everybody loves ringo. and i'm tired ofbeing patronized by you! you think john became johnby winning a raffle, woz? you think he tricked somebody, or hit george harrisonover the head? he was john because he was john. he was john because hewrote ticket to ride. and i wrote the apple ii.

everybody? i want to clear the auditorium.nobody moves! you made a beautiful boardwhich, by the way, you were willing togive out for free, so don't tell mehow you built apple. if it weren't for me, you'd be theeasiest "a" at homestead high school. these people live and die by yourpraise, so here's your chance. acknowledge thatsomething good happened that you weren'tin the room for.

- no.- steve! do it. it's right. it's... it's right. sorry, but no. then let me put it another way. i don't think there's a manwho's done more to advance thedemocratization that comes with personal computingthan i have,

but you've never had any respect for me.now why is that? i'd at least considerthe possibility that it's because you'venever had any for me. what the hell is going on here? nothing. thank you for your time. - it's done.- she's coming back. you came a half-inch from puttingthis company out of business. now, who do i see about that?

i'm letting you keep your job. you get a pass. you know,when people used to ask me what the difference wasbetween me and steve jobs, i would say stevewas the big-picture guy and i liked a solid workbench. when people ask me what thedifference is now, i say steve's an asshole. your products are betterthan you are, brother.

that's the idea, "brother." and knowing that,that's the difference. it's not binary. you can be decent and giftedat the same time. he didn't mean it. yeah, he did. he's a temperamental guy. no, he's not. it's like, five minutesbefore every launch,

everyone goes to a bar,gets drunk, and tells mewhat they really think. she's comingto your dressing room. i told you to makethings all right with lisa. i didn't say you had to settleevery blood feud you have. the last time blood feuds weren'tsettled, i lost the cover of time. though, for the life of me,i still don't know what the hell dan kottkewas mad at me about. kottke didn't lose youthe cover of time.

of course he did. would you like me to demonstrateyour capacity to be wrong when you're certainyou're right? dan kottke told time magazinethat i was denying... do you remember the cover? of time? - yes.- yes. what was it? what are you talking about?

what was on the cover? a computer. no, it was a sculptureof a computer. it was a sculpture. time would have had to havecommissioned it months in advance. you were never in theconversation for man of the year. nobody lost you anything. so, what elseare you sure about? i don't know howi could've missed that.

reality distortion. - no, seriously.- seriously. don't try to winan argument with lisa. just say you were wrong. come on in, honey! it's not "honey." john! get in, get in.get out of the hall. i was taken in the side entrance.i'll go out the same way. no one will see me.how are you, joanna?

i'm good, john. i'mjust surprised to see you. everyone here really appreciatesthe quote you gave to forbes. you didn't have to do that. my pleasure. if you want, i can slip you inthe back once the house lights go out. i'm just hereto say "good luck." okay. you just havea couple of minutes. would you try to find... you're a good man, john.

so, i brought you a present. the newton. if you don't take it out of thebox, you'll be able to sell it. which is more than i can say. everything all right there? - what? no.- yeah. just somethingjoanna pointed out to me. i missed somethingso obvious about... it doesn't matter.

look, wall street's gonna sit backand wait to see how you do as ceo, so don't let any fluctuation botheryou for the first 12 months. day traders are gonna respond. i don't need to school you. is this your way of telling me ishouldn't have killed the newton? the most efficient animal onthe planet is the condor. the most inefficient animalson the planet are humans. well, you shouldn'thave killed it for spite. that's bad business.don't do that.

but a human with a bicycle becomesthe most efficient animal. and the right computer... a friendly, easy computerthat isn't an eyesore, but rather sits on your desk withthe beauty of a tensor lamp, the right computer will bea bicycle for the mind. i was given back. and what if, instead of itbeing in the right hands, it was in everyone's hands? everyone in the world.

we'd be talking about the mosttectonic shift in the status quo since... ever. i don't know why you've always beeninterested in my adoption history, but you said, it's not like someonelooked at me and gave me back. but that is what happened. you're telling meyou have the right computer? it's called macintosh. a lawyer coupleadopted me first, then gave me back after a month.

they changed their mind. then my parents adopted me. my biological mother hadstipulated that whoever took me had to be college-educated,wealthy, and catholic. paul and clara jobswere none of those things, so my biological mother wouldn'tsign the adoption papers. what happened? there was a legal battlethat went on for a while. my mother said she refused tolove me for the first year.

you know, in casethey had to give me back. you can't refuse tolove someone, steve. yeah, it turns out you can. what the hell cana one-month-old do that's so bad that hisparents give him back? there's nothinga one-month-old can do. have you ever thought about tryingto find your biological father? i've met my biological father. for that matter, so have you.

mr. steve jobs! jandali.say hello to john sculley. jandali owns the place, and john's the ceo of pepsi, but i'm trying to get himto move to cupertino. put a dent in the universe. you eat vegan as well? you're kidding me. no, i'll eat anything.

why don't you start us off with the mediterranean lettucesalad with purslane, mint... my sister found him. does he know? no. in fact, he bragged to mona that steve jobs comes in therestaurant all the time. - you don't want to...- no. don't you thinkyou should talk to him? he'd probably finda reason to sue me.

oh, steve... john, if you're hereabout your legacy, you need to forma line behind wozniak. wozniak's gonna be fine.i'm the guy who fired steve jobs. "rich, college-educated,and catholic." steve, it's time. i've gotta go. - did i do this?- screw it up? let's let it go now.

it has to be time. come be our ceo. yeah, okay. it was the stylus, john. i killed the newtonbecause of the stylus. if you're holding a stylus, you can't use the other fivethat are attached to your wrist. things we could havedone together. god, the thingswe could've done.

i'm paying your tuition. are you crazy? of coursei'm paying your tuition. i must have misunderstood you when yousaid you weren't paying my tuition. you and your mom selling thehouse was a hostile thing to do. she needed the money. she always needs the money. she needs a doctor.she has a sinus infection. she's had the samesinus infection since 1988. i'm gonna take care of my mother.i'm sorry if that angers you.

it does anger me,because you're a kid and it's not your jobto take care of your mother. is that how yours died? guys, um, step away, please.give them some room. when your mom is 90 and can't feedherself, you can take care of her. but right now, she's 45, perfectlyhealthy, and can't feed herself. you're supposed to work hard atschool and be 19, and that's it. i'll take care of your mother. well, keep up the good work.

what the hell do you want from me?i was sent for. i bought hera house for $400,000. it's worth twicethat much today! she sold it for two magicrocks and a bowl of soup. it was her house. she used that moneyto travel through europe. money which youmake her beg for. - steve...- don't even start with that. going to andyand asking for the money?

that was so off-the-chartsover the line... i did not do that. andy came to me. everybody have an opinionon this? i'm sorry, guys. in 30 seconds,you're going to be late. she spendsthe money on antiques, and then sells them fora fraction of what she paid. and she does it with moneyi gave to her for you! you came to me hystericalwhen you were 13,

asking if you couldlive with me... i was not hysterical. ...because your mom wasscreaming at you every day. and 13 was the secondtime i asked you. the stress of her lifeas a spiritual healer. i don't believe i said you're a bad guy.but if i did, i am sorry. something happenedto you at school. some first semester core class thatall freshmen are required to take... i read time.

i have internet accessat school. i read an old copy of time, and i asked my mom some questionsabout my family history. that was... time wrotea mangled piece of journal. you were neversupposed to read that. i had two differentharvard statisticians try to reverse-engineerthe equation that you came up withto prove that 28% of american mencould be my father!

honey, i... you know, my mother mightbe a troubled woman, but what's your excuse? that's why i'm not impressedwith your story, dad! it's that you knewwhat i was going through, and you didn't doanything about it. and that makes youan unconscionable coward. and not for nothing, but"think" is a verb, all right? making "different" an adverb.

you're asking peopleto think differently, and you can talk about thebauhaus movement and braun and "simplicity is sophistication,"and issey miyake uniforms, and bob dylan lyrics allyou want, but that thing looks like judy jetson'seasy-bake oven. hey! oh, gee,you're gonna start late. you know what "lisa" stood for? the computer. the lisa. doyou know what it stood for?

i'm sorry i said that about the imac.it's not what i really think. behind my back, at the office,you know what it stood for? local integratedsystem architecture. i was five!why couldn't you just lie? of course it was namedafter you. "local integrated system architecture"doesn't even mean anything. why'd you say it wasn'tall those years? i honestly don't know. why'd you sayyou aren't my father?

i'm poorly made. it's after 9:00,you're gonna be late. i don't care. you're writing for the crimson.what? the apple chapter of theharvard alumni association tells me you're writingfor the crimson. oh, yeah,a little bit. essays... i'd like to read one. no, i mean now. i'd like toread one of your essays now.

come on,you've got to go on stage. the imac will not be launched untilyou give me one of your essays, so the world is waiting for you. i'm really sorry, guys! good luck. gonna put music in your pocket. 100 songs.1,000 songs. 500 songs. somewhere between 500 and 1,000songs, right in your pocket, because i can't stand looking atthat inexplicable walkman anymore.

you're carrying around a brickplaying a cassette tape. we're not savages. so i'm gonna put1,000 songs in your pocket. you can do that? mmm-hmm. you want to watchfrom backstage? go, cue 1. you remember that paintingyou did on the original mac? i do.

ladies and gentlemen, steve jobs. whoo!

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