hey... kim. where are you looking? inwards... and what do you see? darkness. kim, do you feel the light? look at the day... ...only once... for me.
okay? i can't. to look inwards is okay... kim. but sometimes... you have to look at the world outside. do you know what's there... outside? life. only through her union with shakti,
does shiva generate the powerto create the world. shakti is energy. people appear in her. mother of darkness. mother of light. there are no humans... there is only her. the pyschological pathtowards death she called herself "shakti" when she arrived. now she calls herselfelizabeth steinberg again.
i will make my evaluation next month. i don't think there'll be any objectionsto her release. does she still get visitsfrom journalists? that's yesterday's news now. i'm surprised peopleare still interested in that story. if she hadn't incriminated herself... we never would have met. - shit!- the police have only recently released it. this was a human being once.
levin sandal. they called him samarfan. elizabeth steinberg's guru... and her lover. this photo was taken on the evening ofjanuary 14th, 1988. that isn't his... oh, my god. dr fischer believes that lizawill be out by summer. i've known her for more than a year now.she's a good storyteller, you'll see. it's exiting to listen to her. this is where the self-help groupstake place, and the painting therapy.
elizabeth likes painting.she runs her own groups now. we'll all miss her when she goes. okay, please go in. hi liza. hi. there's no blue there. good morning, mrs steinberg. - i am tansu yilmaz.- nice to meet. - i've read your papers. i enjoyed them.- there is never... any... blue!
there's never any blue! - excuse me for a moment.- why is there never any blue? why is there never any blue? anna, we have to go now... you go ahead. - okay?- thank you. i've read this and signed it. excellent. you'll show me the manuscriptbefore you publish it.
that's what our contract says. i want you to promise. i promise. i'm really pleased you agreed to do this. i thought you had a nice voice. thanks. i hope i won't disappoint you. it's all been written beforein various reports. i don't write reports, i write stories.
crime stories? well, what kind of storydo you think this is? on january 14th, a young womanwho calls herself shakti enters a police stationin zehlendorf, berlin. she claims to have killed her lover. the 40-year-old levin sandal,also known as sarmafan, is found dead in the so calledgolden dawn center. there is indisputable evidence provingthat shakti wasn't in the building when sarmafan died.
despite this, elizabeth steinberg,also known as shakti... and the records become confusing here... ...is accused of incitement to murderand found guilty. she is certified as suffering from personalitydisintegration and acute psychotic agitation. she spends the following yearson a closed mental ward. sarmafan's real killer was never caught. sounds like a crime story, doesn't it? who was sarmafan? sarmafan...
...was an... incredible person. - he returned from poona to hamburg.- at end of the 80s. he left the rajneesh communeand joined a very extreme group. - the taylor eriksson group?- yes. he was always looking for waysto go beyond his limits. there are many rumors about this group.but... ...no reliable information. because they had to takea vow of silence. he didn't even tell me exactlywhat happened there.
all i know is that not all participantssurvived the therapy... it must have changed him. he was unbelievably... aware somehow.clear-sighted. he looked at meand looked directly into my soul... he said it could be learnt, this gentleness... ...this peace... ...and i was willing learn. we went to berlin at about the timethe squatter's movement was disintegrating. he founded the golden dawn center.
we had three fixed sessions a week. he did satsang... ...he experimented, and he healed people... i was very happy. but the story took a turn. it was a long time ago. more and more now,i only remember the nice things. - did you talk to the marishani people?- what happened? one of my friendswas with the marishanis...
did he look into the soulsof other women, too? you wouldn't understand. when you do that kind of work,limitations start to disappear... a closeness develops. sarmafan's gift was to be able to give loveto anybody who needed it. it was a different time,a different world back then. i need a twist. mrs steinberg! keoma.
he joined our group very late. from italy, i think. i don't know much about his backgroundeven now. i don't even know his real name. he was a stubborn young man. he rebelled against sarmafan's ideas,contradicted him in front of the group. i fell for his charm. it ended in disaster. on the evening of january 14thkeoma went looking for sarmafan.
at this time, you were in a teashop.witnesses have testified to this. there was a fight between the two men. later you confessed to havinginfluenced keoma. i didn't know he would lose it like that. the spell that had bound meto him dissolved. i realized what an awful crimewe had committed. if it isn't already, this is where our storybecomes just another cheap novel. sorry? when they found sarmafanhe was a human puzzle.
this doesn't look likean argument gone wrong. - it looks like a wild beast has torn him to...- stop it! i already told youi couldn't tell you anything new. you don't want to listento what i have to tell you, anyway! mrs steinberg... i've only just realized how deeplythis still affects me. it does me no good to dig up the past. i know you have put a lot of effortinto your research, but i can't go on. i'm sorry.
please, just one last question... shakti! what does "tulpa" mean? sarmafan had learnt some techniquesfrom the taylor ericsson group that enabled him to reach thedeepest level of the human soul. breathing techniques taken from ancient tibetan meditation rituals. we spent weeks and weekson an inner journey that led us deeper and deeperinto the dark rooms of our soul.
and we saw ourselves in a waywe never wanted to see ourselves. you were looking for somethingcarl gustav jung called the shadow. i have to admit you havedone your homework. what happened after the participantshad seen their dark side? there was a ritual. a group ritual. after that, the shadow was banishedfrom our soul. the dark was gone. the world was suddenly light and peaceful.
and everyone was so gentle. did keoma take part in the ritual? some people can't bearto see their dark side. he fought against it. that's why it didn't work with him. he saw the others succeedand could not admit his own failure. and blamed sarmafan. he hated him, because he was the onlyone in the group who wasn't healed. he killed the god who failed to help him.
yes. they never caught him. anna. the red girl... the red girl! do you recognize this? the changing room at the golden dawn. do you like westerns? there are a couple of posters there.do you see?
italo-westerns. sarmafan loved them. he said they were structuredlike the story of jesus's suffering. this poster shows franco neroin an italo-western in '89. do you remember this movie? i don't know... no. are you sure? the movie was called...
keoma you invented him to protect yourself. the judge believed everything you said, because none of the evidencemade any sense. nothing made any sense. there was someone else in the group... a woman. which woman, shakti? there were 20 women in the group.
how many women did sarmafanmake love to while you watched? shut up! i don't want tolisten to you any more. you don't have any right to talkabout him like that! what will happen to your release dateif they find out that keoma was a lie? the mentally deranged often talk nonsense. what do you want? you scribbled away at your documentslike a novice. you're not even interested inwhat i'm telling you! you know things nobody should know.
- that's part of my job.- you're not being honest. as honest as you are. stop it. that's dangerous. what's dangerous? what's dangerous? you, shakti?are you dangerous? are you dangerous? shakti? - what is dangerous?- you don't understand. maybe i'm the first person readyto understand your story. - no!- a tulpa...
a tulpa is some kind of a phantom, isn't it? tell me! tibetan monks can create creaturesthrough meditation... - creatures?- yes. suddenly they were there... these creatures... these dark, evil creatures. what were they? physical manifestations of evil thoughts. of envy, hatred, anger.
we expelled them using rituals.we thought they'd gone. they returned. i didn't want it to happen! it was your phantom...your phantom that tore him to pieces! your anger! your jealousy! i can't control it! stop crying! show me!
show me how it works! what? who are you? look into my eyes. look at them. do you not notice anything, shakti? are these not his eyes? i am his sister. his little sister. no!
what the hell do you think you're doing?get your hands off her! elizabeth. shit. dr fischer, could you come down? it's happened again. it happened again. don't worry, liza. it will never stop! liza.
liza? open the door, please. don't worry. nobody will believe her. she can't prove it. bingo! mrs yilmaz? just one moment, please. no... please... no. elizabeth!
shit, what have you done? emergency team to washroom three. now! don't give up, elizabeth. shit! help! elizabeth... the red girl. ...anyway, have fun. bye. mr borg.
please come in. - steiner.- robin borg. after you. take a seat, please. thank you. did you find your way okay? you are robin borg. - dr fischer sent you to me.- right. you have to fulfil a judicial order.
the convict is given the opportunityto take part in rehabilitation measures. "we recommend15 hoursof social therapeutic..." doctor! i want to get out of my skin. i can't stand it. i can't go on like this. you were convicted of grievous bodily harmwith lasting consequences... it's the drugs. okay.
damned speed. makes me furious. i don'tsee what's happening... you beat people up, like this polish touristwho's still lying in a coma. it was a mistake. i'm sorry. what do i have to do? - you have been given 15 hours of therapy...- yes. and in this way you manage to avoid amuch harder punishment. that's not the point. i've wanted to stop for ages. i want to do something about it. i'm serious.
mr borg. my work requires a certainamount of openness... i haven't take any shit since it happened. really? you can't image how hard it is for meto stop. since this... incident...you haven't take anything? i've told you, i haven't touched the stuffsince then. i had to prove to myselfthat i was serious about this. nothing? i swear.
dr fischer, please. rainer, it's me. yeah, i'm fine, and you? i have a young man here,a robin borg. that's right. i won't treat him. absolutely not. he's not showing any signsthat he'll cooperate. i'll send him away.
sorry. i'll give you another ring, tomorrow. say hello to britt. there was just a bit left over. i keep fucking up. i feel so ashamed. mr borg... i can't feel you. what? doctor, i don't want this any more.i want you to help me.
- who else is going to help me?- i can't feel you. i know i'm a arsehole, but i swear to you,there's another robin in me, - who just wants some peace.- i can't feel you. i don't want this any more. - mr borg.- i'm telling the truth. - i'll prove it to you.- i can't feel you. perhaps you'll feel my fist! sorry to have wasted your time, doctor. shouldn't we start working?
there, yes? if you like... i didn't mean it... i didn't want to beat you up. i was just threatening it. where i come from you have tothreaten people if you want to survive. i come from a really bad neighbourhood. as soon as you're old enough to bebeaten up, you're beaten up! there's no one there to help.
not even my father. sometimes i really long for a girl... who'll just take me in her armsand show me some warmth. but i've only got my mates, drinking and drugs. my father was the worst.he'd drink himself stupid and then he'd beat me up. i learned everything from him, fighting...
drinking... that's the way it goes. the father boozes and the son is on speed... the only one who stood by me was my mate. he was a pole, but he was okay. i've done a few burglaries with him. he was called blaczko. what a name. i'll spell it for you.
no need. what are you writing, then? a recipe. i had to note it done before i forget it. what do you reckon? would it work tohave mint instead of basil in a minestrone? - what?- mint. tell me. aren't you at all interested inwhat i'm saying? - does this hurt?- not really. and here?
hey, watch it. shit, are you crazy? relax. stay calm. you want to leave so soon? i... i will have to have another think about it. maybe i'll come back another day. we've only just started working together,mr borg. i've changed my mind.
- really?- i don't really trust you after all... you don't trust me? well, i do, but i lied to you and that can't be goodfor this type of a therapy. certain forms of resistance tothis treatment are inevitable. that's a part of it. i agree with that, but... you see? please, take your seat again...
hey, that was a new shirt. what the fuck are you doing? what are you doing? ever heard of the taylor eriksson group? relax. they called this techniquebio-sensitive programming. raise your right arm. very well done. now the left arm.
raise your left arm. you are very gifted. you know, it's the same as with hypnosis. some people are markedly better mediumsthan others. what the fuck are you doing now? - robin... you haven't only got one life.- what? in this life,you have collected a lot of negative karma. - fuck you!- in your next life, you'll pay dearly for that. you're crazy!
it won't help you at all,if i only deal with the superficial problems. my methods will free you fromyour karma in this life. what are going to do? doctor? what are you doing? pick up the knife with your left hand. there are always problemswith the fine tuning at first. - is it bad?- doctor... please! move the knife further back. support yourself with your left hand.
now put the knife... ...to your right forearm. doctor, whatever you have in mind,please don't do it. the taylor eriksson group. they had quite an unorthodox viewof the essence of therapy. this can't be all my fault. i didn't choose my parents. my father and motherwere never there for me. i mean, i somehow have to...
there must be some sortof justice somewhere. i don't want to be a victim all my life. the more you say... ...the deeper your silence becomes. it's all just chit-chat.you don't want to tell the truth. that's not true! the first thing you told me... ...the first sentence... was relevant.
keep this in mind. the first sentence... ...spoken out during therapy... ...is the essence of the therapy. only the first sentence. what do you want from me? more important is what you want. can you remember your first sentence? is this a fucking quiz show, or what?
your first sentence. doctor! i want to get out of my skin. doctor, please. for heaven's sake! i understand now what i have done wrong. - i won't beat up people anymore.- mr borg... - i can see my whole life clearly now.- mr borg. the therapy must be working already. get out of your skin.
please stop it! please. start with your left forearm. peel off your skin. you have to believe me. it's always hard to watch this. but it will save you from so much... ...in your next life. inhale through your nose.
exhale through your nose. do not use your chest to breath. use your abdomen. in my hand... close your eyes. i can see something. in your right lung. i can see it. give it to me.
it... it... it is... my pain... breathing. the pain is gone. ...is gone. - it......has been eased. sit down. disease is like an animal.
like an animal that is hiding in us. but if you can see it... ...then sometimes... ...this is almost... ...like being healed. healing without pathos healer helpschronically ill patient can't you wait until after the session? thanks for the tip, mommy.
pull yourself together. thistime there are even less than last time. it's a miracle that anyone shows up at all. in your own way, you are helping them. many feel better. and that is why i drink... in my own way. forgive me. forgive me, please. they want to believe in you. that's what it's all about.
tell me something about yourself, mira. i studied psychology in heidelberg... ...had various jobs... i've travelled around a lot... sri lanka, then poona... were you a memberof the osho community? no, no, it was a smaller group. ...suffered a lot... ...and since then it is there.
what is there? it's a feeling... ...like... please stand up. you had a feeling like... like... ...something is clinging on to me. have you ever practised rolfing,alexander, yoga? any kind of physical therapy?
yes, and a lot more besides. my god, what a burdenyou're carrying on your shoulders! can you feel that? and that? daddy. it's gone. it's really gone! hey. - well, witching hour's finally over, is it?- we just have to clear up.
- don't forget to lock up the back entrance.- yes, sir! we are driving to zehlendorf any minute now.we could drop you off at the station. that's okay. thank you. my pleasure. i meant... ...thanks for everything. you really are blessed. mira. what was the nameof that group you joined in india?
taylor eriksson group. that rings a bell. their origin is in primal scream therapy. lars eriksson came up with the whole idea. he experimented. you can't imagine what we went through. the same year that i left the group he began the process. what process?
taylor had some doubts, but as usual lars prevailed. he called it the "kali process". like the goddess. the goddess of darkness. these techniques dug deeperthen anything else before. you know, there are cellars in our soul where our memories are stored. our fears...
but we were going even deeper by meditation and reached areas, where... where? where everything dissolves. what do you mean by that? where your own personality becomes irrelevant. where the dead
roam among the living. and more... secrets? tell me... during the session... what happened? i honestly don't know. when i looked at her i touched something...something that was stronger than me. what do you mean?
i'm tired. you'll have to drive. yes, master. edgar? - edgar?- yes? nothing, nothing. hello. tilde. edgar!
- what was that?- tilde! tilde... go upstairs. get help! quickly! it wants me back.it doesn't want to let me go. it wants me back. - it doesn't want me to leave.- calm down... i'll take care of you.
what is that, out there? to be able to help us,i have to know everything. what's out there? the kali process... when we returned... ...i was not the only one who sensed... that we'd brought something with us. what was it? something... that wants to stay down there.
i broke off the process and left the group. what about the others? there were rumors about a police raid, about corpses being found. the security guardmust be somewhere outside. hello! is anybody there? i think i heard something.
it will be back. i'll go outside and distract it. i don't understand... it can't attackboth of us at the same time. it will follow me,and then you can try to leave the house. what are you talking about? i haven't cured anyone for a long time. but i'm going to make sureyou get out of here. you talked about other levels.
how did you put it? where the dead roam among the living. what's it like there? quiet... ...and damp. ready? there's something there. what are you waiting for? mira...
you are sick. no... you cured me. you're terminally ill, mira. open that door. something is not right. open that door now. you are going to open that door now! what does that mean?
it means that that thing out there does not want to stay inside you any longer because you are too sick. i'm not important. it needs a new host. it is of an unbelievable age, older than anything else. it has to live. you will understand this,when it is inside you.
what did you do to tilde? it fed on her, nothing more. to live it must eat. it feeds off dreams. you brought this monster into our group. you freed it... ...to feed it? it feels good to be its bearer.
and now you will bear it. what the hell are you doing here? what kind of bullshit is going on down there? - i knew it...- don't touch the door... leave it closed. get help... now! you are not getting away that easily. i want an explanation. it's not cancer.
mother?! life... have you ever lookeddeep into your soul?
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